Catfights and Clyde: And Other Remake Related Issues

The current Duff-Dunaway catfight began with Faye Dunaway’s reaction to the news that Hilary Duff would star in a remake of Bonnie and Clyde. “Couldn’t they at least cast a real actress?” snapped Dunaway, who had been nominated for a Best Actress Oscar when she played Bonnie Parker back in 1967. Who can ever forget her face as she locks looks with Clyde Barrow (Warren Beatty) amidst the hail of bullets that took both their lives?

Duff slammed back at Dunaway with “I think that my fans that are going to go see the movie don’t even know who she is, so you know, uh, I think it was a little unnecessary but I might be mad if I looked like that now too.” Ouch.

Smackdowns usually help promote a movie, but nothing said or done will get me to see this remake. A classic like Bonnie and Clyde, nominated for 10 Oscars (won 2), should never be remade. How can you make a great film, a perfect film, over again and expect it to be anything more than a crappy copy? Duff is no Dunaway. Neither was Rene Russo.

Look what they did with The Thomas Crown Affair. Steve McQueen’s nose hair has more sex appeal than Pierce Brosnan’s entire package. And Russo had a lot of guts in attempting to overshadow Faye Dunaway’s translucent beauty. The remake sucked and they never should’ve done it. (MGM is currently close to pre-production for The Thomas Crown Affair 2 (aka The Topkapi Affair) with Brosnan.). Idiots.

Some movies are simply untouchable, like Rebel Without a Cause, Citizen Kane, The Shawshank Redemption, Godfather I and II, 2001: A Space Odyssey, Casablanca, everything by Hitchcock (Psycho remake was a piece of crap, as was Shadow of a Doubt, Dial M for Murder and other Hitch remakes), Blade Runner, and most of Spielberg’s movies. No one can ever come close to the dialog of Mankiewicz or Wilder. Why not rewrite Hamlet while you’re at it, dickheads.

If you’re as pissed off as I am with these douchebag remakes of iconic films, just say so. And say it loud.

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