What is Casting Couch? It’s a daily casting column that’s currently shocked and appalled that a mainstream actor has signed on to help legitimize Tom Six’s miserable Human Centipede series of body horror films. Read on to find out who has lowered themselves to delivering poop jokes.
Paul Thomas Anderson’s next project, Inherent Vice, is an ensemble crime piece that’s going to see him working with a huge cast of talented actors. Already the film is looking to feature names like Joaquin Phoenix, Sean Penn, Owen Wilson, Reese Witherspoon, Jena Malone, Benicio Del Toro, Martin Short, and the list goes on. The latest news is that he’s looking to add Josh Brolin to the list, who, due to his recent acting comeback that got kickstarted by his starring in the Coen brothers’ No Country For Old Men, is no stranger to working with top tier directors. Brolin is said to be taking a feature role, so this should be a pairing that will produce exciting results.
Remember how Tom Cruise finally thought better of trying to star in two big secret agent movies at once, and recently dropped out of The Man From U.N.C.L.E.? Given the movie’s troubled production history, one might have imagined this would have been the straw that finally broke the production’s back for good, but Variety is reporting that Warner Bros. and director Guy Ritchie have worked pretty quickly to find a Cruise replacement, and they even managed to find somebody who’s closer in age to his co-stars to boot. Man of Steel star Henry Cavill will now be appearing alongside Armie Hammer and Alicia Vikander in this spy story, thus making this the biggest year ever for Henry Cavill.
Joel McHale can definitely pull off snarky, and he can definitely pull off handsome, but is it possible he’d be able to pull off tough? It looks like we’re going to find out, because Heat Vision is reporting that he’s about to trade in the comedy of Community to take a dramatic role in an upcoming supernatural thriller called Beware the Night. This one stars Eric Bana as a street cop who has fallen out of his faith, but who might find a reason to believe again once he finds himself doing battle with the devil. McHale is reportedly joining the film in the role of the Bana character’s partner, a tough and grizzled veteran of the force, which just seems completely ridiculous because he’s the silly guy from The Soup. It should be interesting to see how he does.
The cast of Michael Bay’s Transformers 4 is about to get a little bit bigger. Heat Vision is reporting that comedian turned actor TJ Miller is currently in negotiations to join the film in the role of the wacky best friend. You see, this one is going to star Mark Wahlberg as a mechanic of some sort, and Miller is going to also be playing a mechanic, but likely one who’s less chiseled and heroic and more focused on making wisecracks while a bunch of alien-robot on alien-robot violence happens around him. Hopefully Miller can up the bar when it comes to comic relief in the Transformers franchise, because so far it’s been set pretty low. Pretty, pretty low.
Would you buy Mary Steenburgen as Anne Hathaway’s mom? Hopefully, because she’s just signed on to play as much in that music-themed drama that Hathaway is getting ready to star in, Song One. The story here is that Hathaway is playing a young woman who develops a relationship with an indie rock star who her comatose brother is a big fan of, so logic would lead one to believe that would also mean Steenburgen will be playing a woman who has a comatose son. That should give her plenty to chew on, dramatically, even if she doesn’t get the chance to romance any skinny-jeaned young rockers. Why is it the young people always get all of the fun roles?
Why on Earth would a mainstream actor agree to appear in The Human Centipede III (Final Sequence)? You’re going to have to ask Eric Roberts, because Inside Movies is reporting that he’s agreed to appear in the third of this series of people getting their mouths sewn to other people’s asses movies. Despite the fact that all of the Centipede movies so far have been shallow bores with nothing to offer other than desperate attempts at creating shock and outrage, and have thus had to rely on unknowns to fill out their casts, the third film in the series can now not only boast that it has Roberts on board, but also that it has Friday star Tommy Lister and porn star Bree Olsen signed up as well. Yikes. This might not even be a smart career move for a porn star.