Aaron Taylor-Johnson

What is Casting Couch? Today it’s the whitest casting round-up you know.

Even though everyone knows that Godzilla is the true star of any Godzilla movie, there usually has to be some sort of human element on the ground to give the fire-breathing lizard’s destruction some sort of context. So Legendary Pictures’ Godzilla reboot is in the need of a principal actor, presumably a young and fresh-faced one, because Deadline is reporting that the newest actor they’re courting for the job is Aaron Taylor-Johnson. In addition to having the whitest name on the planet, you know Taylor-Johnson from recently blending into the wallpaper in Savages and shrinking into the background of Anna Karenina. Let’s hope that if he gets the Godzilla gig he’s able to rekindle a little bit of that spark he showed in Kick-Ass, because he certainly didn’t come out of 2012 looking like the next big thing.

Matthew Macfadyen

Matthew Macfadyen

Speaking of white dudes that were in Anna Karenina, Variety is reporting that British actor Matthew Macfadyen has just landed himself a starring role. He’s going to be the lead in a Bob Hoskins-directed dark comedy that’s unfortunately still titled Epic. Macfadyen is stepping into a role that was originally meant for Ethan Hawke, that of an unstable film director “who is invited by the president of the Autonomous Republic of Karastan to helm an epic movie about the heroic 14th-century founder of the country.” He joins an already-cast Noah Taylor, who keeps our streak of guys with really white-sounding names alive.

Mr. the Cable Guy

Mr. the Cable Guy

Given that our next bit of news is about Tyler Perry’s new Madea movie, Madea Christmas, you’re probably thinking that there’s no way we can keep our streak of casting news involving guys with super-white names going. Or maybe you read the headline and know that we can, because the Earth has just split open, hellfire is rising up from below, and THR is reporting that Larry the Cable Guy has signed on to appear in a movie about Tyler Perry dressing in drag and celebrating Christmas out in the country. Oh, and do you know who else has signed on for the film? None other than another white dude named Chad Michael Murray. Did you hear that name? Chad. Michael. Murray.

Dave Franco

Dave Franco

Okay, so despite the fact that Dave Franco has done a good job playing smug white dudes in several teen movies over the course of his young career, our next bit of news involves him exclusively, and his last name has way too much of a Spanish or Italian flavor to really keep our streak of white bread handles alive. I guess three out of four ain’t bad. The casting news comes from Franco spilling the beans to Collider that there are plans for him to be used in a 21 Jump Street sequel that’s apparently in some stage of development. According to Franco, “I’ve heard little things…They claim I’ll be around. Who knows how much they can use me because I’m in jail at this point, but I’m hoping they can find a creative way to have me be a pivotal part of the story.” To be clear here, Franco means that his character is in jail after the events of the first film, and not that he’s in jail in real life. As far as I know…


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