Bradley Cooper Might Don Mascara to Play ‘The Crow’

If you tilt your head, squint your eyes, and stand on one foot, Bradley Cooper still doesn’t look like he’d make a good goth. He looks like the guy that beat up the goths in high school before throwing the winning touchdown and heading home to bed down the prom queen.

So what’s his name doing anywhere near a remake of The Crow? It’s unclear, but it’s there. According to The Hollywood Reporter, Cooper is in negotiations to star in the film now being directed by Juan Carlos Fresnadillo. What does that mean? That the deal isn’t finalized, but that a deal very much exists. There is an odds on chance that Cooper will be The Crow.

There are a lot of obvious negatives here, but there is at least one positive. This gives Cooper a chance to prove everyone wrong. The gut reaction is that he’s completely bad casting, that he’s a ray of sunshine where a blot of darkness needs to be, but wherever there’s doubt, there’s opportunity. If he can seize that opportunity and deliver a killer performance, then he can cement a great film and show that he’s got more range than people give him credit for.

Whether he will end up getting the job or being up to it has yet to be seen. Fortunately, if it happens, it might mean despair for fans of The Crow, and they all love that sort of thing. It’ll be another excuse for us to jam some Morrisey and frown a lot. Did I say us? I meant them. Them! Damn, I love The Crow. They’d really better not ruin this completely by casting the exact wrong person.

A veteran of writing about movies for nearly a decade, Scott Beggs has been the Managing Editor of Film School Rejects since 2009. Despite speculation, he is not actually Walter Mathau's grandson. See? He can't even spell his name right.

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