It’s not often that I get upset about movie news. I don’t really care. I know that’s a weird thing for me to say, being as how I write about movies for a living, but most of the time news is pretty uneventful – something gets announced, a star gets attached, Barry Sonnenfeld eats a salad – it’s all pretty par for the course.
Also rarely does there come a time when I’m actively angered by movie news. It’s tough to get that wound up about it usually.
And now this.
Universal is going to adapt the fantastically popular (a decade ago) “Where’s Waldo?” books for a movie. A fucking movie. Seriously. A full, feature-length honest-to-God movie. About Waldo. And where the fuck he is.
Look, I dig the books as much as the next guy. They were fun – staring at a book page for close to ten minutes without anything turning 3D. Who doesn’t love that? I just have zero clue as to how you’d take a book that’s about staring at a page until you see a guy with a walking stick and an annoying red and white striped all-weather sweater into a full movie. It boggles the mind.
Please, no one take that last sentence as inspiration to adapt “Boggle” into a movie.
The Hollywood Reporter is reporting that the plot will involve an adult Waldo going back in time because of a time machine. There’s no more details because, frankly, there’s probably very little else to the plot. I am also going to try my hardest not to mention the irony of featuring a main character that was made famous because he was difficult to see.
All that hatred aside, where in the world is our “Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?” adaptation? Where, I ask.
What the hell? Am I only bitter because no one got my Odlaw costume at Halloween three years ago?