Because You Asked For It: A Facebook ‘Mafia Wars’ Movie

With every announcement that some random piece of plastic from the 1980s is going to be given the big screen treatment, a cry goes up about the lack of creativity in Hollywood right now. Of course, we all know that it’s not a lack of creativity, but a lack of balls when it comes to delivering the kind of quality that audiences will flock to the theater for even if the title of the movie doesn’t ring a nostalgic bell. However, with this announcement, it might actually be the creativity that’s dead, too.

We laughed when there was going to be a facebook movie. We laughed when another computer game is chosen. How will we respond when a computer game you play on facebook gets the go-ahead?

According to Pajiba, a company who should be embarrassed to have its name printed (Radar Pictures) is going to develop the facebook app that tells you when your friends need a horse head or they’ll lose their turf is what they want to focus on next. Let that sink in. Then go for a jog, do something healthy, then come back and bash your head hard enough against the computer screen to produce that calming amnesia effect.

Since I didn’t read the press release, I imagine it went something like this:

From the production wizards who brought you Son of the Mask, The Heartbreak Kid, Swing Vote, and All About Steve comes an idea so fresh it could grow daisies – Mafia Wars! It’s like Grand Theft Auto without all the killing, prostitute rape, or actually controlling a character you can see on the screen in a fluid way!

I demand a Mafia Wars/Farmville cross-0ver by 2012. Make it happen, Radar.

However, we still have at least one more rung to crawl down in our decent: need a blockbuster movie made? There’s an app for that. As soon as they announce they’re developing a movie based on that iPhone game where you run across the tops of buildings, that will be the date you can put on Hollywood’s tombstone.


A veteran of writing about movies for nearly a decade, Scott Beggs has been the Managing Editor of Film School Rejects since 2009. Despite speculation, he is not actually Walter Mathau's grandson. See? He can't even spell his name right.

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