The Toxic Avenger

Great news for a lame project. Steve Pink is bringing his comedic talents as a director to a remake of Troma’s super-cult hit The Toxic Avenger. That much we knew, but now Variety is reporting that Arnold Schwarzenegger is in talks to star in the film, but he won’t be Toxie, and The Wrap is claiming that the role is as Toxie’s mentor who uses black ops training to mold a monster into a hero.

If you’re thinking it would be cooler to see Schwarzenegger as the corrupt, crime-lord mayor, you’re not alone.

This is all truly conflicting. Despite the bizarre lose/lose nature of trying to remake a cult movie, there may be a glimmer of a fun film here. Pink, who wrote and will direct, has got some great chops. Unfortunately, the project is being described as “an action adventure geared toward mainstream audiences.” Toxic Avenger geared toward mainstream audiences? The last we heard, they were even trying to make it PG-13. Because if you’re trying to remake a niche film, the main thing you want to do is make it digestible enough for a broader audience by cutting out all the things that made it interesting. It’s a great way to alienate fans of the original while making the general audience scratch their heads. So, yeah, even if Schwarzenegger signs on, this all sounds unbelievably stupid.

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