With just how astounding Armageddon is, it’s no wonder that the world is clamoring for a sequel. Wishful thinking propels us to think that Jerry Bruckheimer and Touchstone (a company which still exists) are champing at the bit to make a deal with Michael Bay as soon as he’s off of his giant damned robots kick.

Sadly, the reality is much bleaker than that, and even if the stars align the right way for a sequel to get made, an asteroid will undoubtedly crash right through them and create a global extinction event that swallows Armageddon 2 whole.

For one, even though Bay is moving on from Transformers once Dark of the Moon hits theaters later this year, he’s also contractually tied to about a dozen other projects. They range from Bad Boys 3 – which might arouse hope of another 90s sequel –  to novel adaptation Gideon’s Sword. But what’s really keeping his attention? His Platinum Dunes duties and other producing work. Plainly put, if the sequel to Armageddon that every single human being wants to happen happens, Bay won’t be the helmer (and what kind of sequel would that be? You think Peter Berg can pull that off?).

“But Damon Lindelof wrote that stellar script!” you say. It’s true. Sadly, it sits languishing unmade, just like 99% of all written scripts and 98% of all optioned scripts.

Even with the overwhelming, Texas-sized financial incentive (matched with the studio model of throwing $200 million at anything with even mild name recognition), Bruckheimer has just committed himself and Disney to more Pirates – and that means no Roughnecks saving the world. At this point, Armageddoner is a pipe dream. It would take an act of God (like Aerosmith getting back together), to make this thing happen.

But keep heart, fans. It’s still technically in development hell, and that means it isn’t dead yet. If Bay enjoys hanging with bad boys again, maybe he’ll get the nostalgic itch for 1998 (the herpes of nostalgic itches), and we can look forward to seeing Armageddon 2 the same summer that The Arrested Development Movie and Ghostbusters 3 come out.


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