Quirky, controversial director Takashi Miike’s latest film Ninja Kids!!! has been released in his home country of Japan for about two months now, so you know what that means…it’s time to start talking about the English-language remake! THR is reporting that a prominent studio is currently in talks to bring the property overseas and put it in a nice, neat Hollywood package that we can all consume without having to read nasty subtitles or hurt our heads trying to understand cultural specific conceits. Personally I have not seen Ninja Kids!!!, and seeing as it is so new, probably a lot of other people haven’t either.

So before we decide if we’re excited for this remake or not, let’s take a look at what exactly the movie is.

Miike is perhaps best known for his legendary, blood-soaked revenge film Ichi the Killer. And one of his more recent releases that got a pretty large release in the U.S. as well, 13 Assassins, is also a big, blood-soaked action extravaganza. But despite those facts, Ninja Kids!!! is a movie that is made for, in fact, kids. Never say that Miike isn’t a man who contains multitudes.

Ninja Kids!!! is a live-action adaptation of a children’s anime called Nintama Rantaro that is about a young boy named Rantaro who is making his way through Ninja School and learning to become a deadly warrior. He has day-to-day travails with his classmates as well as huge ninja battles he needs to fight; pretty typical stuff for Ninja School. So, if we were to get a Hollywood remake of this film, I guess it would exist as a cross between American Ninja and Harry Potter. I don’t know about you, but I think I could get down with that. And if it manages to catch on and make some money, then Robert Rodriguez’s stupid Spy Kids franchise might be in trouble. That would be a good thing for everybody because I don’t want to have to take my kids to see anymore of those things.

Not that I have kids or anything.


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