Editor’s Intro: In our Year in Review, we’ve done a lot to celebrate the best films of the year. We’ve chronicled our favorite performances, talked about the movies that rocked us in an above-average year, and delivered article upon article about the films we dug the most. But that wouldn’t be quite as fun if there wasn’t the other side — the worst of the year. And to be honest, we have even more fun picking on these duds than we do reviewing some of the better movies. Why? Because we like to beat on things. That’s what men (and the women we’ve met) like to do.
So to do this year’s bottom of the barrel justice, we put our resident lover of all things bad Kevin Carr to work, to find the absolute worst movies of 2009:
10. All About Steve
Here it is… the Sandra Bullock movie that isn’t going to get nominated for anything (except maybe a Razzie or a GAG Award). With a shifting release date and an awkward break from the romantic comedy formula, this film about a fortysomething cruciverbalist-turned-stalker who follows a news cameraman across the country is neither charming nor endearing. Were there a murder or two, this could have made an awesome horror movie. Alas, no.
9. The Ugly Truth
When will somebody tell Katherine Heigl that she’s not a good actor, let alone a good star for romantic comedies. The only saving grace about this movie was Gerard Butler, which secured at least one ticket from our illustrious Executive Editor Neil Miller’s mother in the cinema. We’ve seen a lot of these scenes before, from orgasms in a restaurant to the tender-hearted misogynist. It was another rough and tumble crushing of the American romantic comedy.
Here at FSR, we love Amelia Earhart. We think she was a fantastic pioneer for women in aviation and for the aviation industry in general. We also think that it was a shame that she was lost in her attempt to travel around the world. We just didn’t like this movie. It was pedantic, boring, lackluster and completely uninteresting. By the end of the film, it was a relief to see the plane go down… oops, spoiler alert.
7. My Sister’s Keeper
Between Jodi Picoult’s weepy source material and The Notebook auteur Nick Cassavetes, this emotionally manipulative film was just too much angst for us to handle. There was no sympathy for parents who genetically breed a new daughter to be an organ farm for their other daughter, who is dying from leukemia. There were some decent performances, but not from stars Cameron Diaz and Abigail Breslin. Sure, watch this movie if you want a good cry, and you can hate yourself afterwards.
6. Last House on the Left
Some resident horror mavens like Rob Hunter had a lot of love for this movie, and we can agree that the original dirty nasty is a classic in its own right. But the remake of this Wes Craven/Sean Cunningham thriller was completely unnecessary. From some pulled punches in the revenge kills to the unpleasant rape of Sara Paxton by TV-Terminator Garret Dillahunt, it left some of us wondering why they just don’t slaughter kittens on screen for a good shocker.
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