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WTF: Seven Words You Can Never Say… Period

[Warning: This post contains profanity and words you should never say… period]

Almost 27 years ago, comedy legend George Carlin released his famous “Class Clown” album in which he first popularized the “Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television.” For those who don’t remember what they are, here’s a quote from his stand-up routine:

Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, Cocksucker, Motherfucker, and Tits. Those are the heavy seven. Those are the ones that’ll infect your soul, curve your spine and keep the country from winning the war.

My god, how times have changes, yet stayed the same.

In the age of internet porn, cable television and unrated DVD releases, these words are rather tame. To show how things are different, the curse word “shit” even got its own South Park episode in 2001, in which the s-bomb is dropped 162 times; Sam Jackson is famous for saying “motherfucker” and its various forms; and ask any eight year old, and they’ll insist that non-swear words like “piss” and “tits” probably don’t even count.

However, in today’s ridiculously politically correct climate, new words are emerging that you’re no longer allowed to say. The latest…?

Slumdog.

What the fuck, shit, piss, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker and tits?

Apparently a hit movie that is raking in money and sure to clean up this Oscar season, Slumdog Millionaire, is considered a bad word. Even though the film has shone a light on the sometimes awful conditions of the slums of Mumbai (formerly Bombay), it’s being protested by the Indian population.

“We are not dogs!” one protester has been quoted. Well, apparently this dude never saw the movie because he totally missed the point of the title. Danny Boyle and his team aren’t calling kids from the slums a bad name. It’s a bit of irony on what many people – especially those who take advantage of the poor in Mumbai – think of their victims.

I am so sick of protests that I could puke. And all the hubbub over the word “slumdog” shows that the shit (or piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker or tits) has really hit the fan.

Profanity is no longer a problem in today’s society. Instead of the censors clipping around real swear words, they’re on the look-out for the new seven dirty words, the heavy seven that will infect your soul, curve your spine and keep the country from winning the war on terror:

    1. Nigger
    2. Faggot
    3. Retard
    4. Midget
    5. Cripple
    6. Slumdog
    7. Nappy-headed hoes

Carlin must be flipping over in his grave right now.

Kevin Carr crawled from the primordial ooze in the early 1970s. He grew up watching movies to the point of irritation for his friends and was a font of useless movie knowledge until he decided to put that knowledge to good use. Now, Kevin is a nationally syndicated critic, heard on dozens of radio stations around the country, and his reviews appear in a variety of online outlets. Kevin is also a proud member of the Broadcast Film Critics Association (BFCA), the Online Film Critics Society (OFCS), and the Central Ohio Film Critics Association (COFCA).

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