WTF: Seriously. Grey’s Anatomy Sucks. Seriously.

Fuck Grey’s Anatomy.

I know, them’s fighting words for a lot of you folks out there (probably fewer than elsewhere, but I’m sure there’s plenty of McDreamy fans in the FSR herd). But that’s how I feel right now. That stupid show, which jumped the shark long before its first lesbian storyline, is having too much of an impact on television today.

I haven’t dropped the f-bomb lately, trying to shake things up for the readership with witty, insightful puns on the WTF theme. But after enduring weeks of copycat television, I have to say…

What the Fuck Grey’s Anatomy!

First, there the fat-girl empowerment that show has spawned. I have nothing against a little meat on my leading ladies, but Grey’s Anatomy has taken things too far. First, there was Katherine Heigl, who has some really nice curves on her. But she got too big for her britches (figuratively, no literally) and complained about movies like Knocked Up – which put her on the A-list map, by the way – being too sexist.

Then there was Chandra Wilson as the very short and very round resident Dr. Bailey. I actually love Wilson as an actor, but now she’s trying to stretch, and it’s ruining her character. (This feat was done to Heigl as well, who complained about busted storylines and ends up with a brain tumor, boinking her dead lover, the Comedian himself Eddie Blake.)

Finally, there’s Sara Ramirez, who is a hottie in her own right, but can’t figure out whether she likes the dudes or the ladies. She almost had a shot with the incompetent resident Sadie, but then Melissa George was dropped from the show almost as fast as Brooke Smith, who played Ramirez’s caustic on-screen lover.

If you’ve seen showrunner Shonda Rhimes (whose dreadful Shondaland production studio logo at the end of each show looks more like a failed ghetto spraypaint job than anything respectable), you’ll know why she favors chubby lesbian chicks. I think that Rhimes might just be using the show to get laid.

And all this for a show whose title character probably weighs about 87 pounds, soaking wet. God, I wish the character of Meredith Grey had just decided to stay dead in the third season.

But let’s forget the chubby chasing for a minute. The real reason why I have a deep-seeded hatred for this show now is that it has had a huge impact on the weekly television show model. It’s had such an impact that even though there isn’t even a new episode of this frakking show for the past few weeks, I still am reminded of it when I watch almost anything.

Now, every show seems to demand a montage at the end, with slow pans across characters, often with some pretentious voice over and a weepy, whiney pop song playing in the background.

Is this pop-song end montage the new freeze frame over the credits that we all had to endure in the 1970s. It’s not a terribly new convention… after all, I seem to remember Scrubs doing it now and then in a much more elegant fashion, but Grey’s has perfected it into a cliche.

Some day, I believe that America will wake up and realize that Grey’s Anatomy has become a terrible show, jumping the shark seasons ago and desperately trying to find new characters before dropping them a couple weeks into their run.

I just wish that Greg House would hop a plane from New Jersey to Seattle and kick some sense into this whiney, angst-filled, asshole group of doctors that inhabit Seattle Grace Hospital. Now, that’s something I’d gladly endure under a whiney pop-song montage.

Kevin Carr crawled from the primordial ooze in the early 1970s. He grew up watching movies to the point of irritation for his friends and was a font of useless movie knowledge until he decided to put that knowledge to good use. Now, Kevin is a nationally syndicated critic, heard on dozens of radio stations around the country, and his reviews appear in a variety of online outlets. Kevin is also a proud member of the Broadcast Film Critics Association (BFCA), the Online Film Critics Society (OFCS), and the Central Ohio Film Critics Association (COFCA).

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