So here we are in the official Hollywood hangover week. The Oscars are a thing of the past. Slumdog brought home the bacon. Mickey Rourke didn’t get to give a wacky acceptance speech. Hugh Jackman was praised for doing less than anyone else had in the past. We have only two non-reviewed movies releasing this weekend. And Tyler Perry in a fat suit is box office gold.

There’s so much to reflect upon this last week and the coming weekend that I had to do a bit of a hodge podge, so let’s get started…

OSCAR RATINGS – The big news on Monday was that this year’s Oscars saw a ratings bump, up 11 percent from last year.

What the failing audience?

Sure, we saw better numbers than last year, but the 2008 ceremony was the least watched Oscar weekend in movie history… since the dawn of time. The numbers for the first part of the ceremony this year saw 33.57 million viewers, only up a tick from last year’s 32.01 million. And that ballyhooed stat was only up a smidge from the 2003 ceremony (the lowest rated on record until 2008), which only brought in 33.04 million. Compare this to 2007’s viewership of 40.17 million, and it’s still a dismal night.

HUGE JACKMAN – More buzz on Monday was how much people loooooooved Huge Jackman as the Oscar host. And I have to say that he did fine, but did anyone else notice how he disappeared for about an hour in the middle? Then he returned for a completely irrelevant song-and-dance number with Beyonce.

What the fancy foot work?

How can you only offer 30-odd seconds to Peter Gabriel, but then happily declare the movie musical is back (which I thought happened in 2003 when the musical Chicago won the Best Picture award) based solely on Mamma Mia’s success?

SHAKING THINGS UP – Was that really what happened? Did the Academy really shake things up?

What the five winners from the past?

Sure, there was that cute opening number with Huge Jackman and Anne Hathaway, but it was only a small step from the Billy Crystal numbers from ten years ago. And sure, the five winners per actor slot was a nice touch, but the ceremony just seemed to come to a screeching halt every time this happened?

WILL SMITH – Boom goes the dynamite? Seriously?

What the flub?

I guess we now see that the biggest star in Hollywood is a total dumbass without a script… Wait a minute… He did have a script. He’s just a dumbass.

TYLER PERRY – I may not be a fan of this guy’s movies, but I respect the hell out of him for finding an audience and exploiting it to the fullest extent of the law. But when the box office pundits talked about the $41 million haul from Madea’s Family Reunion, the numbers were compared to… get this… other films in the “fat suit comedy” genre.

What the fat suit?

You can’t tell me that Box Office Mojo’s Brandon Gray really thinks that people see movies based on who is in a fat suit? Yet this talking-head dumbass actually lumps the Madea movies in a falsified genre that includes films like Norbit, Big Momma’s House and Mrs. Doubtfire. Why didn’t he include The Santa Clause and Shallow Hal to boot?

Wouldn’t this be like lumping Austin Powers, Time Bandits, Death at a Funeral, In Bruges and The Wizard of Oz in the same category called “midget movies.”

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