WTF: Megan Fox Scares Me… In a Good Way

Megan Fox and a Mountain Ox

By now, you’ve heard all the hubbub about sexy Transformers babe Megan Fox and her short-lived affair with a Russian stripper named Nikita. If you haven’t, check out our illustrious executive editor Neil Miller’s “Afternoon Delight” post about it from yesterday.

Like any red-blooded American male, that story sent me into a delusional fantasy mode, like something J.D. would have in the television show Scrubs. After I came out of this fever dream, something else struck me about her story.

While defending her affair (which she said happened when she was but a youngin’, barely 18… and if that doesn’t sound like a porno storyline, I don’t know what does), Fox went on to explain she is obsessed with Jenna Jameson and has a monster crush on Olivia Wilde.

It’s not that she has a crush on Olivia Wilde that gave me pause… It’s how she has a crush on Olivia Wilde. To quote:

Olivia Wilde is so sexy she makes me want to strangle a mountain ox with my bare hands.

What the Fox?!

Mountain oxen beware of Megan Fox… and the same goes for Olivia Wilde. I can’t imagine what her current squeeze Brian Austin Green thought of this comment. I wonder how many wilderness creatures she needed to kill in order to profess her deep love and emotion for him.

Something tells me that the forest creatures are safe, when it comes to Brian Austin Green.

But Olivia Wilde’s wiles should put her on the PETA watch list.

It is official… Megan Fox has replaced Angelina Jolie on the freaky-deaky sex object list. And that makes me want her even more.

This girl scares me. But in a good way.

Kevin Carr crawled from the primordial ooze in the early 1970s. He grew up watching movies to the point of irritation for his friends and was a font of useless movie knowledge until he decided to put that knowledge to good use. Now, Kevin is a nationally syndicated critic, heard on dozens of radio stations around the country, and his reviews appear in a variety of online outlets. Kevin is also a proud member of the Broadcast Film Critics Association (BFCA), the Online Film Critics Society (OFCS), and the Central Ohio Film Critics Association (COFCA).

Read More from Kevin Carr
Get Film School Rejects in your email. All the cool kids are doing it:
Previous Article
Next Article
Reject Nation
Leave a comment
Comment Policy: No hate speech allowed. If you must argue, please debate intelligently. Comments containing selected keywords or outbound links will be put into moderation to help prevent spam. Film School Rejects reserves the right to delete comments and ban anyone who doesn't follow the rules. We also reserve the right to modify any curse words in your comments and make you look like an idiot. Thank You!