WTF: Junk on the Screen

R Rating for Graphic Nudity

Don’t let the title of this article fool you. I am not specifically talking about bad movies. Sure, it’s September, which means the release schedule is Hollywood’s way of blowing its nose to clear the way for the blockbusters of the holiday season.

While some movies I’m talking can be considered junk, it’s a different kind of junk that I’m tired of seeing on the movie screen.

It began late last year with the Judd Apatow flop Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story. It continued in the spring with Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay and Forgetting Sarah Marshall (the latter of which leads me to partially blame Judd Apatow for the trend). Then it hit the big time in this summer’s Sex and the City.

I thought we were done with Hollywood junk. But now with this week’s releases of How to Lose Friends and Alienate People and Blindness, movie audiences need to brace themselves for more junk.

What the full frontal nudity?

Enough, already. I don’t have a problem with male nudity, but this is getting to be a bit much. There was a day when an R rating guaranteed a nice boob shot. But now, if there’s an R rating with the dreaded descriptor “graphic nudity,” you can be pretty sure you’re gonna see some guy’s wang on a screen 20 feet tall.

And who wants that. Even the woman have to agree this is a bit much. With the exception of the well-hung Latin hunk from Sex and the City, all the other “graphic nudity” moments are creepy, banal or disgusting in some way… unless you’ve got the serious hots for Jason Segel.

It’s a shame when a Megan Fox movie comes out with an R rating for nudity, and the only thing we get to see are her raisins underneath a silky, wet dress.

Bring back the days of Sharon Stone in Basic Instinct. In the realm of equality, we’ve had enough junk for a while.

Kevin Carr crawled from the primordial ooze in the early 1970s. He grew up watching movies to the point of irritation for his friends and was a font of useless movie knowledge until he decided to put that knowledge to good use. Now, Kevin is a nationally syndicated critic, heard on dozens of radio stations around the country, and his reviews appear in a variety of online outlets. Kevin is also a proud member of the Broadcast Film Critics Association (BFCA), the Online Film Critics Society (OFCS), and the Central Ohio Film Critics Association (COFCA).

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