You’ve stumbled upon Circle of Jerks, our sporadically published, weekly feature in which we ask the questions that really matter to our writers and readers. It’s a time to take a break from our busy lives and revel in the one thing that we all share: a deep, passionate love of movies. If you have a question you’d like answered by the FSR readers and staff, send us an email at firstname.lastname@example.org.
What movies would you recast/recrew? My answer: Topher Grace as Spider-man. Tobey Maguire is humorless. And I’d somehow keep Ryan Reynolds from being the Green Lantern so he can be The Flash instead. And I’d like to have seen Preston Sturges direct just about any romantic comedy. – Sara F.
Will Smith as Superman. Not because I think he’d be fantastic, but because a) it’s such a strange alternative universe casting call that it has to be seen and b) Brandon Routh was so utterly bland that I can’t remember a single thing about Supe’s characterization in that movie.
Also, though we’ve seen what he can do with a pretty twisted fairy tale already, I’d love to see what Tim Burton would have made of something like When Harry Met Sally or 13 Going on 30. Something tells me that the warm colour palettes used in both would swiftly disappear!
I would have rather seen Dougray Scott play Wolverine instead of Hugh Jackman. The famous story of how Scott lost out on the part due to Mission: Impossible II reshoots is a gut punch for anyone who likes him.
It’s not that Jackman is awful, but Dougray Scott could have pulled off menacing more convincingly. Plus, he would have had a much larger career were it not for John F’ing Woo.
Also, most of John Carpenter’s films are essentially Westerns at their heart, anyway, so he should have taken on a full-blown Western at some point in his career. The 3:10 to Yuma remake would have been ideal for his aesthetic.
Johnny Depp as Willy Wonka. Johnny Depp as Sweeney Todd. Johnny Depp as The Mad Hatter. I don’t have anything against Depp. He has a range worthy enough to land these roles and he can ‘make’ pretty much anything work I just don’t think he fits into any of these as naturally as another Tim Burton alumnus does.
The artist formerly known (and then again known) as “Pee Wee” is one of the most versatile and mildly dark comic actors of his generation. Not exactly edgy, but he can personify just the right balance of pre-adolescent playfulness and ever-so-slightly mentally unbalanced to pull off Wonka and The Mad Hatter with his hands tied behind his back (‘cause that would be hard), and his experience in stage productions fits in nicely to have brought Todd to the bigscreen.
If Reubens never had the public indecency incident one can only imagine what could have been; the fact that he hasn’t been cast in a meaty role for Burton since Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure may have contributed to a small number of Burton’s films not being as memorable as they should have been.
Answer more burning cinematic questions with the Circle of Jerks