This Week In Movie Posters – Wolfman’s Got Nards

Here is another week of glorious movie posters. This week though, you will be hearing a lot of “Neil is at Sundance,” so I’ll be pinch hitting for our all star out in Utah. What do I know about movie posters? Well, enough to say which ones should be on my wall or not. As many of you know, I have spent a small fortune on DVD’s…but what you don’t know is that the other part of my fortune has been spent on booze. What you may not also know is that while intoxicated, I tend to buy a lot of movie posters. So you see, I am a very credible source on what posters are awesome and which ones aren’t. So sit back, grab a drink with me and let’s look at some damn posters.

Now, on to this week’s selection.

Our Family Wedding – Not Quite Black and White

What is it saying about the film? Ay Dios Mio! No, but seriously…nevermind. I can’t be serious about this one. It is almost saying, “If you liked Ashton Kutcher and Bernie Mac in uncomfortable awkward racist moments, then you will love Carlos Mencia and Ugly Betty in this new racially charged super comedy!” But wait, it does have Forest Whitaker in it…and he does bring some legitimacy to the film. Too bad he wasted his legitimacy already on one film this decade.

Bass Ackwards – Sdrawcka Ssab

What is it saying about the film? I would normally call this one as a belly busting comedy. However, it’s Indie and features a really old van. Much like another indie/old van movie Little Miss Sunshine, this one probably has a bunch of emotion and self reflection sandwiched between two pieces of some smiles and some dude talk. So in other words, could be really funny and touching…or could be like that drive to Wally World that never ends.

I Am Love – I Am The Creepiest Family Photo Ever

What is it saying about the film? Now this one is cool. Tilda Swinton always puts in a great creeper performance. Seriously though, I can’t tell if it is creepiness or pain that I see in that picture. The film is about love, obviously pointed out by the title, but pain can also be a part of love. This poster intrigues me, and makes me want to find out the story behind it. Not necessarily a very cool poster, but an effective one.

Buried – How is Ryan Reynolds Going to Take His Shirt Off in a Coffin?

What is it saying about the film? I joke about Ryan Reynolds taking his shirt off in every movie, but he really does. That fact doesn’t prevent me from seeing his movies though, because the guy has style. Now can he pull off a feature film stuck in a small area without cute girls to snap witty flirtations with? It could play out like Castaway where Reynolds captivates the audience, or it could be like Phone Booth and become a mediocre popcorn flick. Or it could be an awesome transformation on screen where Reynolds just slips into utter insanity. Or it could be like a acid induced magical dream ride to a candyland-esque nirvana. Now I’m totally just making stuff up.

The Ghost Writer – Who Didn’t Like That Show?

What is it saying about the film? First, it’s saying…’I’m not that damn TV show you watched as a kid!’ Following that, this poster features two faces that are saying something. Ewan McGregor is saying something about being sorry for Angels and Demons, and that this is his mulligan. Pierce Brosnan is giving his best “Give me one chance, and I could take that sissy Daniel Craig”, face. Other than that, this tells me that it is directed by Roman Polanski…so it should be worth a look.

Monster Squad – Wolfman’s Got Nards

What is it saying about the film? Here is another great poster from Tyler Stout. Too bad I couldn’t grab one because all the vultures bought them up…and they are now presently on eBay for outrageous prices. I digress. This poster is absolutely awesome, just like the film. Seriously, if you haven’t grabbed it on DVD or Blu-ray then you should suffer the same fate as Wolfman.

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