First, a clarification on the title of this list… the intention is not to actually “watch” these movies while simultaneously having sex. (If that’s what you’re looking for then you need a new sex buddy.) And if you’re expecting a list of porn movies or even simply the hottest or best sex scenes, then this list is not for you (although some of these are incredibly hot movies.) These are movies to be glanced at occasionally during breaks for air, water, or inspiration. Movies meant to be played in the background while you focus on pleasing and teasing the flesh beside you. Movies you start to watch with the intention of finishing, but that may lead down the road toward carnal behaviors instead…

And a quick disclaimer, I don’t believe TV’s should be in bedrooms, as the bedroom should only be used for sleeping and sex. However, I do believe you can sleep or screw in any room of the house. Sometimes the TV just happens to be on, and sometimes you may just need some sounds to cover your own noises. Obviously not all of these films will work with every person, so feel free to mix and match and then suggest some of your own in the comments section below.

Secretary

Sure the movie is about attempted suicide, self-mutilation, S&M, divorce, want-ads, and other deviant subjects, but it’s also one of the most beautiful and romantic movies you’ll ever see. Highlights that may inspire include spanking, masturbation, moaning, sly Gyllenhaalian lip curls, sexy subservient behavior, semen stains, bath time, and the sweetest love scene ever put to film.

The Unbearable Lightness of Being

This is just a sexy movie. Period. Lena Olin and Juliette Binoche share Daniel Day-Lewis and each other in multiple scenes of smoldering sexuality, and when the characters aren’t playing and plying each other’s naughty bits they’re thinking about it. Yes there’s communism and drama all around them, but that just makes the sex that much more of an escape and relief. As an added bonus the movie is almost three hours long which is enough time for twelve girlie-o’s and six for the boys.

School Ties

To be honest, I have no explanation for this one. All I can say is that I’ve tried watching this movie twice with two different “friends”, and for some reason both viewings ended in sweaty coupling. Maybe the ladies were overcome by the combined testosterone of Brendan Fraser, Matt Damon, Ben Affleck, and Cole Hauser. Maybe they were simply aroused by the plight of the Jews. I don’t know, and I don’t really care. But maybe someday I’ll get to see how the movie ends.

The Exterminating Angels

Go ahead and press mute immediately on this one, because all you’re after here are the stunningly hot women masturbating themselves and each other. Okay, that makes it sound like porn and I promised I’d be avoiding porn, so just know that it’s about one director’s search for the truth and intensity behind the ultimate pleasure of the female orgasm… hell, it’s about hot women diddling. Guys like watching it, girls like watching it (don’t lie, it’s true), and everybody’s happy.

Pathology

This won’t appeal to everyone, and most people won’t find it arousing in even the slightest sense of the word. But… some people will. And those that do are the ones up for pretty much anything sexual you can think of. The film’s mix of sex and death, sometimes side by side, can be a rush with the right combination of people. And while hopefully it won’t lead to you and your fellow fornicator bringing a homeless person back to kill and then screw, it may lead to some kinky ass techniques you’ve never thought of before.

Sex and Lucia

Stealing a glance at the screen periodically on this movie will leave you bewildered and confused, but even if you watched it intently and without distraction you’d still probably have no goddamn clue what the hell was happening. And that’s okay (although it actually is an excellent film). Just know that Paz Vega is stupefyingly sexy and quite often naked. Know that the film has a dream-like quality, beautiful geography, and for fans of the cock there’s a scene with a naked man covered in mud who titillates Lucia by making his muddy dongle twitch. The ladies seem to like that.

The Last Temptation of Christ

I know, I know… I’m going to hell. But seriously, if there absolutely has got to be something playing on your TV while you swap bodily fluids with the one you love (right now) then what could be better than the story of Jesus Christ? The movie does have it’s share of naked people… horribly dirty and hairy naked people… and there are a couple sex scenes, but this movie isn’t on the list for any of its visuals. It’s the best movie to have playing during sex solely for the musical score by Peter Gabriel. His internationally flavored music is beautiful, haunting, rhythmic, tribal, and perfectly suited for bumping uglies. The three most primal and invigorating scenes from my experience, musically speaking, are when he heals the possessed, disrupts the money changers in the temple, and the end credits. Fear of being struck by lightning adds a nice degree of intensity and danger as well.

And as a post-coital bonus… anything from Pixar

I did say “post-coital”, so please don’t accuse me of finding anything erotic in these CGI classics (at least not intentionally.) Instead, understand that sex can sometimes be dirty, and when it’s over you may desire a spiritual cleansing of sorts. What better way to clean your soul than with the pure innocence of a Pixar film? Pop one in, lean back with your partner, and just enjoy. And if you’re up for it, maybe make a game out of seeing who can spot the Pizza Planet truck or A113 first. Winner receives oral…

What do you recommend as television background noise while making whoopee? Are you judging me silently right now? If so, use your fingers and judge me down below.


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