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‘The Three Musketeers’ Drinking Game

Drinking Games

There have literally been dozens of adaptations of Alexandre Dumas’ classic novel The Three Musketeers… even more if you count sequels, adaptations of other Dumas books (like The Man in the Iron Mask) and even Peter Hyams’ whackety-schmackety The Musketeer with martial arts fight choreography.

Forget Charlie Sheen and the Disney version. This new film features 3D, impossible sci-fi action elements and Orlando Bloom acting as a proper dandy. If that’s not an incentive to drink, I don’t know what is. Being a film about famous Frenchmen, I’d suggest a nice French wine for this movie. Of course, considering it has the flavor of a big, dumb American action film, you’d also do fine with a case of Schlitz.

And now, to cover our butts… This game is only for people over the age of 21. Please drink responsibly, and don’t go to Orlando Bloom for fashion advice.

TAKE A DRINK WHEN…

  • Someone drinks
  • Someone fires a pistol
  • Someone draws a sword
  • A gadget or booby-trap is used

TAKE A DRINK WHEN YOU SEE…

  • A map
  • The diamond necklace
  • A wide shot of a palace exterior
  • A title card (for a name or location)

TAKE A DRINK WHEN SOMEONE SAYS…

  • “Richelieu”
  • “Musketeer”
  • “All for one” or “One for all”
  • “Athos,” “Porthos,” or “Aramis”

CHUG YOUR DRINK WHEN…

  • A whole shit-ton of stuff gets blowed up

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Kevin Carr crawled from the primordial ooze in the early 1970s. He grew up watching movies to the point of irritation for his friends and was a font of useless movie knowledge until he decided to put that knowledge to good use. Now, Kevin is a nationally syndicated critic, heard on dozens of radio stations around the country, and his reviews appear in a variety of online outlets. Kevin is also a proud member of the Broadcast Film Critics Association (BFCA), the Online Film Critics Society (OFCS), and the Central Ohio Film Critics Association (COFCA).

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