The Matt Damon Award For Bravery in a Bourne Film

jeremyrenner

Breaking a shutout streak, Jeremy Renner has swiped the Matt Damon Award for Bravery in a Bourne Movie out of the clutches of three-time winner Matt Damon. It wasn’t just that his Aaron Cross was a courageous agent learning about the cruelty of the government he pledged to serve, it was that taking the role after Damon was a gutsy move in and of itself. It was never going to be a guaranteed fix, and there was definitely some pushback, but congratulations are due for even attempting to fit into Damon’s shoes.

Best/Worst Online Angst Generator

Prometheus

Kevin suggested we give this one to The Dark Knight Rises and Prometheus because both had an undeniable affect on the online community. From disconcerting set photos to bad buzz about script changes, hands were constantly wringing with the terrified hope that these movies would be the life-changers that people wanted them to be.

However, after the dust settles, we’ve gotta give the edge to Prometheus here because it’s continued to cause angst amongst the internet world long after its release. People are still asking Damon Lindelof questions about the screenplay, the original un-Lindeloffed version got published, and people are combing through old concept art and other materials to try to find where it all went wrong. Where high expectations and bad buzz meet, the Alien prequel that no one would call an Alien prequel managed to maintain high levels of tension all the way through its Blu-ray release.

And people really had problems with how Batman got back to Gotham after getting out of the pit/prison? Do they not think he has a Bruce Wayne Visa Black Card in his utility belt?

Best Feminism Disguised as a Shower Scene

Take This Waltz Shower

Talk about taking a fun exploitative trope and turning it on its head. Director Sarah Polley pulled a Porky’s with Take This Waltz, but instead of placing us with the teenage boys behind a peep hole, she placed us inside the group shower long enough to completely normalize it. We were no longer sneaking a sleazy peek at sexy girls; we were witnessing the mature, meaningful conversation between sexy women. Mr. Skin was probably incredibly pleased to get more nude work from Michelle Williams as well as the first naked showing from Sarah Silverman, but the power of the scene was in their discussion about their needs as wives — capped off by three geriatric ladies joining the bathing session (as if to completely subvert the group shower concept) and offering up some wisdom about young things getting old.

Best Dominance of Movie Culture By a Minor Olympic Sport

The Hunger Games movie

Was there any doubt? Archery reigned supreme this year. From The Hunger Games to The Avengers to Bravebows and arrows were big deals. Hell, there’s even a television show called Archer. How much more exposure can you get?

Best Movie Directed By a Member of the Wu-Tang Clan

iron fists

Caitlin suggested this award and that The Man with the Iron Fists should win it which means she must not have seen Ol’ Dirty Bastard’s recently released home movies (or doesn’t think they qualify for the title). And there’s a thought. Wouldn’t it have been awesome if ODB had lived to appear in RZA’s crazed martial arts explosion? Yes, yes it would.

Oddly enough, Kevin also nominated this movie for the Best Use of Anal Beads award, mentioning something horrific about Russel Crowe’s “Flavor-Savor Beard.” I guess he didn’t see ODB’s home movies either.

Special thanks to Kevin Carr, Caitlin Hughes, Adam Charles, Jorge Sosa, Robert Fure and Robin Ruinsky for submitting Award ideas. Now, onto 2013!

dashes

2012 Year in Review


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