As the movies of 2010 comes to a close, it’s time to look back and revisit the finer points of cinema. But here at Film School Rejects, we like to turn the spotlight not just on the best, but also on the worst. This year has been a particularly rough year for movies as more films fizzled than we expected. With the year quickly coming to a close, it’s time to look back and realize which films didn’t just disappoint, but caused us the most pain.
So with the help of the entire staff here at FSR, our own curator of the wretched Kevin Carr has compiled the list of the year’s most unwatchable, unbearable and unfortunately unforgettable films — may there be mercy on the souls of anyone who endured all of these gems…
15. Jonah Hex
At a time when comic book movies seem to be at their heyday, the DC universe continued its stumbles (at least for non-Batman-related movies). We love Josh Brolin, and our very own Rob Hunter admits he finds Megan Fox to be “purdy,” but that didn’t stop the train wreck that was Jonah Hex. From development hell and an overworked script to a completely incomprehensible villain, the film was 81 minutes that reminded us this was the company that also brought us Catwoman.
14. Valentine’s Day
It was either this or Sex and the City 2 as the chick flick that made the guys on staff cringe. Garry Marshall has given us some decent films over the years, but this ensemble piece fell flat with uninspired storylines, cliches abound, bad acting and a forced “cameo” by Julia Roberts. Sure, it made bank at the box office, but since when do high B.O. returns mean quality filmmaking?
Some films are like a religious experience. Legion was a religious experience in a bad way. Paul Bettany plays the archangel Michael trying to save the savior of humanity in a diner in the Mojave Desert. How could that premise fail when you also feature a crotchety Dennis Quaid with an indiscernible accent, an old lady who swears before she climbs the walls and Tyrese Gibson throwing down some acting smack? Well, the filmmakers managed to do so.
Remember when Ethan Hawke used to be a movie star? Like his vampire character in this film, his career appears to be alive but it is really dead inside, walking the earth to suck the life out of moviegoers. It is beyond us how a major studio can release a vampire film in this pop culture climate and fail to excite the public.
Before Anchor Bay rolled the dice (and ended up with egg on their faces) with an unrated theatrical release of Adam Green’s Hatchet II, they rolled out Green’s icy thriller Frozen into theaters. With an intriguing premise of three skiers stranded on a ski lift in the middle of a snow storm, it didn’t have the writing and acting skills behind it to seal the deal.
10. A Nightmare on Elm Street
It seems that every year, the multiplexes are filled with remakes and sequels, and 2010 was no different. And nothing’s worse when a sequel not only fails to live up to the original film, but also fails to live up to the original’s many sequels. While it has some creepy moments, this remake of Wes Craven’s 1984 original features a cast of teenagers that are so forgettable that many found themselves rooting for Freddy Krueger.
When the days start to get shorter and the air gets a chill in it, film fans know that it’s time for the award-bait movies to be released. Clint Eastwood’s Hereafter is his latest grab at the Oscar, starring Matt Damon as a psychic who can talk to dead people. Sadly, as talented as the geriatric Clint Eastwood still is, his handling of this non-thriller, non-drama is about as exciting watching him drive to the store to pick up some prune juice.
8. The Bounty Hunter
Poor Gerard Butler. Poor, poor Gerard Butler. This guy cannot escape the albatross of bad rom coms around his neck. Last year, it was The Ugly Truth with Katherine Heigl. This year, it’s The Bounty Hunter with Jennifer Aniston. Look for Butler to star in some shitty romantic comedy with Kristen Bell or Reese Witherspoon in the future because this is apparently how he pays his rent now.