6. Rob Gets A Terrible Farewell Party in Cloverfield
Cloverfield was kind of like Paranormal Activity if the demon was larger and all the characters had the same decision making skills as Micah. It’s hard to care too much about these peoples’ wellbeing when a monster the size of a skyscraper is able to tiptoe up to them and eat their cameraman, who they then promptly grab the camera from. It’s also kind of silly to watch 80 minutes of generic whiny people fight to survive and rescue each other and then die in the last 10 minutes. I guess I should be talking about how they all had a really bad night in the film – but so did I, watching it. That part in the store with the Statue Of Liberty was pretty neat though.
5. Sarah Connor Learns She Is A Savior To Mankind in The Terminator
This movie doesn’t take much more than a day to happen – and on the first night Sarah goes from kicking it in Tech Noir to saving the world from a robot apocalypse with her womb, nailing a dude from the future, and then escaping from the law with a bun in the oven. She was literally serving waffles in the same 24-hour span that she became humanity’s last hope.
It’s enough to make anyone switch from iguana to German Shepherd.
Hey speaking of robots ruining your life…
4. Miles Dyson Learns He Is The Destroyer Of Worlds in Terminator 2
Way worse. Miles goes from hanging with his family to suicide bombing a major building in less time it takes to watch the extended cut of Return Of The King. Just imagine for a second reading these words and then having the monitor shot out by a woman in a tank top and glasses telling you that it’s “all your fault” that your day job will some day create hulking robot Austrians and nuclear annihilation. Really imagine it, because that was Miles Dyson’s evening in this movie.