5. The T-800 Takes On A Biker Bar in Terminator 2: Judgement Day
It’s no Tech Noir from the first film but it’s way rowdier by the end – and by rowdy I mean a giant naked Austrian throws a dude on the grill before stealing all his clothes. It really makes you wonder what the atmosphere was like immediately after he left on the dude’s bike while he sat there waiting for paramedics with his junk all out in the air.
Actually that raises a horrible question: did the T-800 take the biker’s underwear also? The worst part is, no matter the answer it’s still disturbing for two very different reasons.
4. The Entire Ending To Shaun Of The Dead
Queen pretty much makes every scene amazingly upbeat no matter the situation. Seriously, go play “Jazz” on repeat and watch Requiem For A Dream and see how terrible you feel afterward. You won’t.
In fact, Shaun Of The Dead gives Wayne’s World a real run for its money in terms of iconic Queen-related scenes in films. Just you wait a generation or so and I bet it will be the clear front-runner even. It’s sad to say, but it’s also true.
3. River Flips The Hell Out in Serenity
Women. Right? Am I right? My hand is up but no one is giving me a high five.
But seriously, she’s completely insane. Then again, I’ve seen commercials that have made me want to kill everyone in the room before, too – and while they didn’t have secret subliminal kill commands in them, they did have that damned Progressive lady. I’ve never hated anyone more than that Progressive lady.
This isn’t so much of a brawl as it is a karate razing so brutal that it crosses over into hilarious.
2. Marion’s Bar Burns To The Ground In Raiders Of The Lost Ark
A good sign that you’ve won a bar fight is if you end up setting the place on fire because you whipped a hot poker from a Nazi. Then again, whipping Nazis is all Indiana knows in life. That and having sex with his friend’s daughter.
I can never stress that fact enough with Indiana Jones – that he slept with an underage girl, left, and when he saw her again she was a raging alcoholic in a Nepalese dive that he then burns to the ground. But at least they get married in that CGI one. God, I love these films.
1. The Entire Second Half Of From Dusk Till Dawn
Vampire strippers. I dunno, it’s kind of a toss up when you’re talking about Salma Hayek. Like, look – yes you’ll die, but it’s also the closest you’d ever get to Salma Hayek. I can’t tell you what’s most important in your life, all I’m saying is that it’s not as clear-cut of a decision for everyone.
This film is the definition of a night at the bar that just totally goes tits up. One of those nights where you think you’ll just stay for a few hours and leave – maybe go home and watch some Space Ghost or something. But next thing you know it’s like 7am and you’re firing holes through the walls so that you can escape the creatures of hell that have so far killed everyone you know and loved.