As if the summer box office wasn’t already glutted with more than enough blockbusters to last us right into fall, Paramount Pictures has now announced that they’re bringing back two of their most plagued productions for a special studio-specific double feature to end the summer with a bang (or, potentially, a whimper). Paramount is bringing both Star Trek Into Darkness and World War Z back to select theaters for a one-week engagement (August 30th through September 5th) that will, thoughtfully enough, cost moviegoers just the price of one ticket.
Both films were troublesome for Paramount in different ways – STID had to live through director J.J. Abrams’ persistent insistence that his film was not a new spin on the classic Khan storyline, only for fans to discover that, well, it was. The Brad Pitt-starring World War Z had its own cross to bear – months and months of reshoots and rewrites that typically spell doom for any film. Neither film has been a true box office bust – STID pulled in nearly $460m worldwide (more than its predecessor), with WWZ making just over $526m worldwide – but is that enough for Paramount? Apparently not. But with Paramount putting together its own double feature to grab the last dollars available from an exhausted (and exhausting) summer, we couldn’t help but wonder what other studios could put together their own second-run double features and, if they did, what we’d actually like to see from them.
The Purge and Fast & Furious 6
Why not go see the studio’s biggest hits of the spring and summer, not because they need to make money, but because they’re actually just great on their own? Have you already forgotten that epic runway scene or the thrill of watching Ethan Hawke be terrorized by masked baddies?
The Conjuring and Pacific Rim
Consider this one the Advanced Puppetry double feature. Annabelle dolls, piloted Jaegers, same thing, right? At least one of these comes with real tension, and the other has fighting sticks to, ahem, offer you?
The Way Way Back and The Heat
It’s the Unexpected Best Buds Double! Relive the awkwardness of your childhood and bemoan that you never got to have Sam Rockwell as a mentor and then ponder why you didn’t go into law enforcement, simply because then you could have had a gun and a trash-talking best pal.
This Is the End and White House Down
Fine, it’s another Unexpected Best Buds Double Feature, but this one comes with hellfire and lots of guns! Even better, here are two films with actually serious plotlines (the end of the world, a governmental coup by crazies) and inject them with some real laughs (Jonah Hill getting violated by the Devil and Joey King getting smacked around and called a bitch notwithstanding).
Sony Pictures Classics
Blue Jasmine and Before Midnight
Yes, we’re going to differentiate between Sony proper and SPC because look at these choices. This is your Acceptable For Your Parents Indie Double Feature. Woody and Cate! Richard and Ethan! The whole family will love them. (At least, my whole family loved them – what’s your family like?)
The Kings of Summer and The To Do List
Teen hijinks, the very best kind.
The World’s End and Admission
Ah, the Perils of Not Progressing Double Feature. Watch Simon Pegg regress back to his teen years with drink and pub-crawling, watch Tina Fey stay stuck in a job she’s outgrown (until Paul Rudd comes along, obviously).
The Weinstein Company
Fruitvale Station and 20 Feet From Stardom
It’s your Essential Sundance Catch-Up Double Feature. Get out the tissues.
Iron Man 3 and Monsters University
It’s the best we’ve got to offer here.
You’re Next and You’re Next
What? The Hunger Games: Catching Fire isn’t out yet, and we’re betting that You’re Next will hold up with two viewings (hell, it held up over two years).