Movie Style Guy: Forget Sarah Marshall

Movie Style Guy: Forget Sarah Marshall

Forget Sarah Marshall, or any other girl (or guy) with these Hawaiian themed drinks and a special tasty treat! This weekend the newest Jude Apatow produced/blessed movie will most assuredly rack in some cash. In keeping with that, I’ve decided to throw a handful of tropical drinks your way to help ease the pain. Or if you’re in a celebratory mood and are craving some meat, I’ve designed a special meal for you and yours as well! In keeping with tradition, I’ve selected rich, fruity drinks with a light taste, lots of pineapple infusion, and Spam. No joke.

Mai Tai

The Mai Tai was first introduced at the Mai Tai Bar in the Royal Hawaiian Hotel, located in Waikiki. Since then, the drink has proved popular with those on vacations who like a lighter, fruitier taste. The ingredients, as follow, should be placed in this order, into a glass, over shaved ice.

  • 1 oz. Dark Rum
  • 1 oz Light Rum
  • 1 oz Orange Curacao
  • 2 oz Orange Juice
  • 1/2 oz Lime Juice
  • Dash Orgeat
  • Dash Simple syrup (bar syrup)

To finish, give it a stir, plant a swizzle stick (or Umbrella!) in it and garnish with a slice of pineapple and a cherry. Enjoy, brave souls, enjoy. Though I can’t recommend ordering this in a bar, unless you’re very comfortable with your sexuality.

Pina Colada

Do you like Pina Coladas? And getting caught in the rain? Regardless, if you’re in Hawaii, or just want to pretend to be, mix up a batch of these bad boys and you’re on your way. This has a distinct coconut flair to it, which I personally am not a huge fan of, but no Hawaiian drinks page would be complete without it. The following ingredients should be combined in a blender and mixed on high for a brief period of time.

  • 4 oz. fresh pineapple juice
  • 3 oz. rum
  • 2 oz. coconut cream
  • 2 cups crushed ice

Serve in a tall glass with a straw and again garnish with the delicious combination of pineapple and cherry. Watch out for the brain freeze.

Lava Flow

If you like your drinks theatrical and don’t mind spending a bit more time on them, whip out the blender and a couple of glasses to make a batch of these Hawaiian ‘dessert’ beverages. Here are your ingredients:

  • 1 oz. light rum
  • 1 oz. Malibu coconut rum
  • 2 oz. fresh or frozen strawberries
  • 1 small banana
  • 2 oz. unsweetened pineapple juice
  • 2 oz. coconut cream
  • Crushed Ice (1/2cup or so)

In your blender, combine your rums and the strawberries. I actually like using frozen strawberries for this most of the time. It’s a touch less expensive and helps keep the drink icy. Blend together until you get a a thick mixture that is a beautiful red color. Pour this into a tall glass to wait. Rinse out your blender and toss in the remainder of your ingredients. Blend this until smooth. Pour this over the top of your strawberry mixture and watch as the drink mingles together, creating the ‘lava flow’ appearance. Garnish with your fruit of choice, may I suggest pineapple or cherry, or both, or hell, more strawberry. Hit it with a cute little umbrella and finish off your afternoon with this tasty treat.

Movie Style Guy’s Spam Burger

Now some of you are probably thinking “Gross.” This is not a true, pure Spam burger. But Spam is pretty popular in Hawaii and used in gourmet cooking. It dates back to World War II when tons of the stuff, being easy to produce and cheap, was shipped to Hawaii when beef and chicken and other meats were being sent to the European theater. Ingredients for 4 burgers:

  • 1 pound Ground Beef, 80% Lean
  • 4 Hamburger Buns
  • Salt
  • Pepper
  • Pineapple Slices (4)
  • 1 Can Spam
  • Condiments of Choice
  • Olive Oil

Start by lightly seasoning your beef with salt and pepper. Next, work the beef into four equal patties. You’ll want your grill set to medium-high or your stove top (use a Cast Iron skillet for extra awesome) set to the same. Salt and pepper the patties to your taste. Coat lightly in olive oil.

Remove the Spam from the tin and cut either 4 large slices (cutting across the long edge) or 8 small slices (cutting the short edge). Lightly pepper and oil the Spam.

Cook the burgers for approximately 5-6 minutes per side. You only should flip the burgers once, but if you’re aiming to impress, you can move the burgers four times. After 3 minutes, rotate the burgers 90 degrees. This will give you that cross-hatch grill line pattern. On a skillet, don’t bother, only flip the burgers once. If you have room on the skillet or grill, after flipping the burgers, toss on the pineapple for a sear and the Spam. Cook the spam (which should be thin) about 3 minutes a side. It could also be fried in the pan in light oil.

If you want, steam/toast/bake your buns. If you want a cheese burger, apply the cheese directly to the burger while its cooking, for the last 2 minutes or so. As everything is done, place your (cheese)burger on the bun. Next, top it with the pineapple slice. Add on top of that the fried/grilled Spam. Dress it as you see fit with condiments (I eat mine like this, period) and top it off with the bun. Enjoy.

Personally, I love my Spam to have some crunch to it, so cook it a touch long. And hey, if you don’t care about Hawaii and Spam, use the same recipe, but with bacon.

Well, that’s all for this week. Good luck Forgetting your Life Sucks. Or Happy Celebrations!

Robert Fure is many things: horror expert, ruggedly handsome man of the world, witty prose composer, and writer of his own biography page. Beneath the bravado is a scared little boy, ready to grow into an awesome man and make lies about a scared little boy inside of him. Wait a minute...

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