For us Rejects, going to the movies is an all-or-nothing affair.  Generally you’ll recognize us by our fancy dress, often wearing coats with tails, carrying walking canes, and our hands protected from hot buttery popcorn by thin, white gloves.  As I enter the theater, I squint through my monocle and take note of those dressed around me and judge them.  Usually negatively, I might add, as English breakfast tea always makes me a bit grumpy.  This weekend, don’t be a tool and celebrate the movie you’re seeing, or I’ll throw down a gauntlet and challenge your honor.

The Day the Earth Stood Still

What Not To Wear

You’re going to want to avoid any reflective material.  We don’t want you looking like Gort out there.  Leave behind the elevator shoes, you’re kind of a dork if you do this.  Also leave behind your X-Files shirts and things that say I Want to Believe or I Want to be Abducted.

What To Wear

I think I would like to see an entire theater full of people wearing simple black suits, going for more of a Klaatu look.  Either that, or just dress normally folks.

Gran Torino

What Not To Wear

Despite your strongest urges, ignore the idea that you should dress like that strange Korean War Veteran who hung out on his porch all day in your neighborhood wearing a wife beater and nursing a bottle of rye whiskey all day.

What To Wear

While Eastwood’s character is a racist (though a likable one), he’s still someone who served his country with distinction.  A classic American look is called for, with jeans and a simple t-shirt.  Maybe perhaps slacks with a jean jacket.  Or a simple, earth tone suit.

Che

What Not To Wear

Don’t dress like a paramilitary.  And don’t wear that stupid damn Che shirt.  Che is responsible for the mass murder of thousands, not some cultural hero.

What To Wear

This shirt brought to you by capitalism.

See, who needs TLC to help you decide what to wear when you’ve got me and I’ve been drinking all morning?

Do you ever dress up for the movies?


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