It’s a brand new year, and now that the festivities are well and truly done in Britain – where everything literally transforms into a Muppet’s Christmas Carol style wonderland where cars skid balletically and fatally across the smallest patches of ice , all households run out of salt and everything shuts down embarrassingly, as if noone was expecting the identical annual weather patterns – we can recommence with the serious business of buying as much multi-coloured movie crap as our bulging homes can take.
No, of course I don’t believe it’s crap, but then I am one of those people who will be found in later years crushed under a pile of mint in the box Romy & Michelle’s High School Reunion action figures, half-eaten by cats. Some might call it a problem, I call that a wonderfully fitting end.
The more astute of you will notice I’ve dropped the numeric from the title – good work. The even more astute of you will realise it’s probably because I have forgotten which number comes next.
Onward, merch hunters – to the shelves!
1. Star Wars Imperial Wall Paper
Start as you mean to go on. Since Star Wars pariphenalia will always play a major part of the Merch Hunter world, what better way to kick off 2012 than with this awesome slice of merchandise? Textured and featuring images of Darth Vader, Storm Troopers, Snow Troopers and Boba Fett (who was in fact free-lance and not strictly speaking affiliated with the Empire in any but short-term financial terms), this painfully collectible wall-paper is the perfect answer to the question of how you can add more merch to a room when all of the floor and shelf space is exhausted. It’s bloody expensive, but a small room is probably all you’ll be allowed to paper with it anyway, unless you’re lucky enough to be married to a like-minded partner, or your parents have a big basement.
I have a feeling I don’t even need to sell this one to you. Go pick up a roll or two here.
2. Red Skull Hot Toys Figure
Those wonderfully talented imps at Sideshow Collectibles have been at it again, this time rolling out news of an upcoming Red Skull sixth scale figure with the usual artesan skill in design and execution and a typically large price tag. But where else can you get this type of realism? And you do get an awful lot of interchangeable features, including a Hugo Weaving variant head for when you want a creepy little Nazi in the corner of your room. And who wouldnt?
Pre-order one here.
3. Cutesations Alice in Wonderland Series Plush
Barely a week can go by these days without Disney launching another series of hugely collectible figures at pocket money prices – though admittedly collecting the whole series is made difficult by the troublesome decision to make the boxes unwindowed, and the likelihood of buying duplicates a purse-busting inevitability. These mini plushes are the latest addition to the growing stable of such limited availability series, and though the name “Cutesations” is almost enough to inspire those little jets of water at the corner of the mouth that spell impending vomity disaster, they’re still very collectible.
If you want to play the game, each figure can be bought separately for $6.50, but that approach will come with expensive multiples and furious anger if you’re anything like me, so the safer option might be to pick up the lot in one go, with a plush mushroom display as well, for $79.50.
T-Shirt of the Week
Warriors! Come out to play-ay!
Naturally, there is more Merch Hunter