Boiling Point

In a very real way, the Internet was invented so that people could bitch about stuff. You might think that the internet was a invented (by Al Gore) as a way of people to share information. This is true. But once that moved out of the military sector and into the real world, the internet became about connecting people and people are excellent at sharing one thing: their opinion.

Whether it is good or bad, people are very ready to tell you what they think about everything from movies to television, sports to politics. Never has information, and opinions good or bad, traveled so quickly. The nature of this beast is that people are going to share. They’re going to overshare. You’re going to get cat pictures, dog pictures, and NSFW cat pictures. You’re going to hear about what people love, hate, and don’t care about. You’re going to tell them the same thing.

This is the Internet. Welcome to it. It’s time to quit bitching about it.

And we come to the crux of the matter – bitching about bitching. People bitch on the internet – again, that is kind of what it’s for. People share their opinion, and if that opinion is basically that something sucks, we call it bitching. The internet is full of bitchy bitches bitching and there’s nothing we can do it about it.

The acceptable method of dealing with bitching is called arguing, or if you’re classy, debating. When someone bitches about something, whether it’s the legitimacy of TV as art or the how long someone must wait before discussing spoilers and you want to bitch back, you argue. That’s how things get worked out. Fight! Fight! Fight!

What’s unacceptable is to bitch about their bitching because that is pure bitchiness. Wait, am I bitching about bitching? Fuck. Wait, no. I’m arguing. I’m arguing against bitching. My point, fellow Internet dwellers, is this: you can’t be mad at the internet for being the internet. You can’t get mad at people for being people. This is how things exist.

For example, I hate the show Girls. I watch it, but I hate almost everything about it. I then express my hatred of it. I bitch about it, as I’m apt to do on the internet. Some people hate The Newsroom and they bitch about it. That’s their right too. Bitching about something is really just expressing a negative opinion, which is what 80% of the internet is. (I think the other 20% is cats fucking.)

If you want to praise a show, awesome, praise it to hell. If you want to bitch, ride that fucker straight down. Go for it. But what you can’t do is bitch about how people keep bitching. People hate Girls? So the fuck what. It’s their deal if they want to watch it and hate it. People hate Newsroom? Who gives a fuck. If you love something and just non-stop talk about loving it, no one really tells you to shove it up your gaping asshole, so why do you get to tell someone to stop expressing their opinion on a subject? Uh oh, we may have come to the point of this whole deal.

Bitching about something can be annoying, but it’s as valid as loving something. We bitch about things we hate because we love something else, something better, something whatever we hate might someday maybe be. Bitching is a very honest expression of opinion, and it’s the language of the internet. So when you’re next involved in a flame war over the internet, don’t tell someone to quit bitching, since that’s akin to just saying “shut up.” Rather, lay into them with your counter argument. Don’t just throw your hands up like it’s not a fight – throw a haymaker and show this idiot why he’s wrong to bitch.

People bitch on the Internet all day long and that’s all right with me. But when someone bitches about bitching, that pushes me past my boiling point. You’re kind of saying “I disagree with you but have no way of countering your argument.” Which means the person bitching is right, or at least the winner of that engagement. So sack up and defend your opinion, friends.

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