Hannah Horvath, the ostensibly central character of Lena Dunham’s HBO series Girls, has never been a model of social grace, and her inability to behave not only well, but even somewhat appropriately in most situations and relationships has drawn serious criticism from fans and foes of the show alike. Dunham, who seems to be both very charming and very smart in person, has obviously quite purposely saddled herself with a character that continually touts the scope of her maturation without actually maturing. At all. Ever.
As the series approaches its third season finale – next week’s episode, intriguingly titled “Two Plane Rides,” will close out the series until 2015 – now seems to be the perfect time for Hannah to actually grow, change, and move forward. But she’s not doing any of those things (in fact, she’s getting markedly worse), and her behavior in last week’s episode highlights how far Hannah is from not just social grace, but basic social abilities. Let’s put it this way – Hannah has pulled some serious crap over three seasons, and as eye-popping as her behavior may have been to people capable of successful relationships and reactions in “I Saw You,” it’s just one in a long string of terrible moves by one Ms. Hannah Horvath.
If Girls is about behaving badly, there’s no question why Hannah is its central character (and, if it’s not, it’s got some serious problems to work out), and in an anti-celebration of her worst actions, we humbly present the worst moves in Hannah’s three-season run.
1. Busted in on Ray and Marnie having sex (“I Saw You”)
Sure, this might be the most recent faux pas on Hannah’s part (if you can call willful, insane action a “faux pas”), but it really is the most wild and wooly of all. Arriving at Ray’s apartment (which used to be Adam’s apartment) late one night with her Broadway-bound boyfriend, Hannah and Adam start making out on a chair – the memories of the place must have overwhelmed them – before putting a pause on the action to listen intently to some other amorous noises coming from the next room. That it’s Ray’s bedroom, that it’s Ray’s apartment, doesn’t slow her down, and she busts in to find her suspected prey – Ray and Marnie going at it. Hannah’s door-breaking would be weird and wild enough, but she seals it as her worst move ever by screaming at a mortified Marnie, “”You will never judge me again!” Slow clap.
2. Asked a grieving widow to find her a new publisher (“Only Child”)
On the heels of the mysterious death of her editor David Pressler-Goings, Hannah and Adam hit up the funeral for some socially acceptable grieving — except Hannah uses the event as the oppurtune moment to press David’s widow (the divine Jennifer Westfeldt) for advice on how to land a new publisher. At the very least, Hannah got one hell of a talking-to, even if the message didn’t stick.
3. After making Marnie cover all of her bills for months, got into argument with Marnie that forced her to move out (“Leave Me Alone”)
Remember back in the first season when Marnie and Hannah had that massive blowout? Remember how it was revealed that Marnie had been covering Hannah’s bills for months? Remember how terrible that was? Remember?
4. Had sex with Jessa’s nineteen-year-old stepbrother (“Video Games”)
Nothing says “cool family trip” like having sex with your troubled friend’s brother in the middle of the woods.
5. Freaked out when she discovered that Elijah and Marnie had sex, went to Booth Jonathan’s house to scream at Marnie about it and to kick Elijah out of their apartment (“Bad Friend”)
There’s nothing that Hannah loves more than using her Brooklyn apartment as leverage and, just a few episodes after Marnie skips out on their abode for greener (read: literally nicer) pastures, Hannah inflicts the same treatment on Elijah. Oh, and Marnie, too, just as the duo are starting to heal up their relationship. The setting for all of this? Basically a stranger’s apartment.
6. Pulled Jessa out of rehab (“Truth or Dare”)
Life tip — even if your friend begs you to come get them out of rehab, don’t do it. Especially don’t do it if you’re going to turn the whole thing into a road trip with two other people.
7. Let Adam get punched in the face (“Role-Play”)
On one hand, Hannah’s commitment to her role-play, uh, role, was kind of admirable. On the other hand, she probably should have dropped the act once an enraged man tried to intervene. There’s nothing less sexy than a facial injury.
8. Showed up at her parents’ hotel room, totally high (“Pilot”)
The first great upheaval of Hannah’s young life saw her getting cut off financially by her parents in the show’s very first episode — relatable, no? — which she then reacted to in what would become scarily traditional Hannah fashion: by getting high and showing up somewhere inappropriate.
9. Interrupted Patti LuPone’s recording sessions to get an interview about bone density medication (“Incidentals”)
Even Hannah’s attempts at workplace legitimacy have fallen flat, and her screaming interruption of Patti LuPone’s recording session, all to get a few stray quotes about bone density medication, was one of her worst professional moments ever.
10. Invited Elijah to the beach house (“Beach House”)
Hannah sure knows how to bust open friendships, but she’s also proven strangely adept at getting them back on track, even in weird ways. After running into Elijah and his pals while away on a girls-only beach retreat, Hannah invites Elijah back to the house — sweet, right? — which only puts everyone in a weird position, makes Marnie feel bad, and dilutes the point of the whole weekend. At least there was dancing.