A wise man once said “It’s not just about seeing Star Wars two weeks before everyone else. You’ve gotta plow through crap like Marie Antoinette and Catwoman as well.” I have the fortune of being able to see all of the films that I want, and find out that they are only worth one viewing (or less) before I would willingly pay for the DVD…and subsequently end up hating myself later. But for every The Whoopee Boys there has to be an Indiana Jones, and because of the great films I am able to put myself further in debt every week.
Director: Ron Fricke
Synopsis: A higher definition look at the most beautiful things in nature.
Why Buy It?: After Ron Frickegave us a revolutionary look at time lapse photography with 1985’s Chronos. Then he took his camera skills to the most beautiful places in the world for Baraka. Shot in 24 countries, this is easily one of the greatest pieces of eye candy that any film would ever have to offer. I believe in balance, and in order to lower my adrenaline from flicks like The Incredible Hulk, I buy one like this. I promise you, this is one of the most visually arresting films you will ever see.
Mystery Science Theater 3000: 20th Anniversary Edition
Why Buy It?: I previewed this one a while back in our officially cool column. If you are a MST3K fan, then this is a must own. The DVD set is housed in a limited-edition tin box featuring 4 custom lobby cards and a figurine of Crow T. Robot! Features four of the show’s most-requested episodes–First Spaceship on Venus (1960), Laserblast (1978), Werewolf (1996), and Future War (1997).
The Polar Express: 3-D
Director: Robert Zemeckis
Cast: Tom Hanks
Synopsis: A heartwarming digital Christmas classic.
Why Buy It?: I was a huge fan of the film when it first came out. A lot of people were creeped out by the eyes of the characters, who appeared to be without a soul. Another creepy aspect of the film is that Tom Hanks did most of the mo-cap for the children. Aside from all of this, the film is an amazing piece of animation, and I can’t wait to finally watch it on Blu-Ray and in 3-D nonetheless.
Director: Larry Bishop
Cast: Michael Madsen, Vinnie Jones, David Carradine, Dennis Hopper
Rating: Rated R for strong violence, sexual content including graphic nudity and dialogue, language and drug use.
Synopsis: Modern day grindhouse biker flick.
Why Rent It?: Our own Neil Miller was quoted for this one and in an amazing display of his vocabulary, he hailed the film as “a fantastic display of blood, boobs and crazy shit.” Well if that doesn’t sell this as a must see, then I don’t know what will. I won’t buy this one though, because lately the Tarantino stamp has lost its grandeur. It won’t stop me from enjoying all of the gratuitous violence and nudity that the film has to offer though.
Director: Jay Lee
Cast: Jenna Jameson, Robert Englund,
Rating: Rated R for strong violence and gore, sexuality/nudity and language.
Synopsis: This one is about strippers, who become…you guessed it, zombies.
Why Rent It?: This is the Citzen Kane of stripper films. I will even go as far to say that this is the greatest stripper zombie film ever made. It is on the same plane as other genre bending films such as Over the Top and Balls of Fury. In all seriousness, if you want to see a horror film with a bunch of nudity…you have a great rental candidate here.
Body of War
Director: Phil Donahue, Ellen Spiro
Synopsis: The story of an Anti-war hero.
Why Rent It?: I didn’t get a chance to see this one at the SXSW film festival, and I didn’t get to interview Phil Donahue. You can ask anyone, I was more pumped for that interview than any other one I had. I went to the same high school as Donahue, and I was excited to talk to another eagle. Anyways, I heard great things about this one and I can’t wait to see it.
Journey to the Center of the Earth
Director: Eric Brevig
Cast: Brendan Fraser, Josh Hutcherson, Anita Briem
Rated: Rated PG for intense adventure action and some scary moments.; Rated PG-13 for some bloody sci-fi violence. (special edition)
Synopsis: A 3-D amusement park ride, starring Brendan Fraser.
Why Avoid It?: This is one of those gimickey, in your face 3-D flicks that give you a headache. I was not a huge fan of the film based on its own merits, and it gave me some crazy eye fatigue in 3-D. I am on the no Brendan Fraser comeback bandwagon too, and will not support his acting efforts.
Kit Kittredge: An American Girl
Director: Patricia Rozema
Cast: Abigail Breslin, Julia Ormond, Chris O’Donnell
Synopsis: A kids movie for kids who have no idea what the depression was.
Why Avoid It?: While I realize that I am not the demographic that this film pursued, I still didn’t like it. How does anyone expect a depression story to be something that today’s kids can relate to? Other than that fact, I become really depressed with the enigma careers of people like Chris O’Donnell. Now I need to watch a pixar film and forget about my Chris O’Donnell induced depression.
Dead Space: Downfall
Director: Chuck Patton
Why Avoid It?: What is worse than a movie adaptation from a video game? Maybe a straight to DVD companion piece to a video game. I mean come on, Dead Space is a popular current game…but its no Halo or anything. It is kind of pretentious to think that a companion film will sell enough to command an audience.
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