A wise man once said “It’s not just about seeing Star Wars two weeks before everyone else. You’ve gotta plow through crap like Marie Antoinette and Catwoman as well.” I have the fortune of being able to see all of the films that I want, and find out that they are only worth one viewing (or less) before I would willingly pay for the DVD…and subsequently end up hating myself later. But for every The Whoopee Boys there has to be an Indiana Jones, and because of the great films I am able to put myself further in debt every week.
Kung Fu Panda
Director: Mark Osborne, John Stevenson
Cast: Jack Black, Dustin Hoffman, Angelina Jolie, Ian McShane, Jackie Chan, Seth Rogen, Lucy Liu
Rating: Rated PG for sequences of martial arts action.
Synopsis: Kung Fu, with a side of awesome sauce.
Why Buy It?: I know this might cause some controversy…but Kung Fu Panda seriously competes with Wall-E as the best animated feature of 2008. No joke. I was selling this one short all year, until I saw it. If you haven’t, make sure to run out and grab it. If you aren’t a big fan of Jack Black’s, don’t worry…he toned down the obnoxiousness that you might be accustomed to.
Hellboy 2: The Golden Army
Director: Guillermo Del Toro
Cast: Ron Perlman, Selma Blair, Doug Jones
Rating: Rated PG-13 for sequences of sci-fi action and violence, and some language.
Synopsis: Hellboy vs. giant wind-up dolls.
Why Buy It?: I wasn’t initially a big fan of this sequel. I didn’t hate it, but I didn’t love it. It really grows on you though. If you give it a couple viewings, it really makes you think about all the reasons you loved the first film. Also, it’s a kickass home theater DVD.
Band of Brothers [Blu-Ray]
Why Buy It?: Well who didn’t own Band of Brothers in the first place? This was one of the best HBO mini-series ever. If you haven’t seen it, which means you are my grandma, it is basically like a 12 hour World War 2 film, care of Tom Hanks and Steven Spielberg. Did you like Saving Private Ryan? Well while that may not be on Blu-Ray yet, you can get the next best thing.
Director: Benson Lee
Synopsis: The history of breakdancing.
Why Rent It?: I am always a fan of the exploration of sub-cultures. This one caught my eye a while ago, and I just kind of lost track of it. I can’t wait to see it. Has anyone in my DVD club seen it yet? I could see myself buying it if I really liked it, but for now…it’s a rent.
Star Wars: The Clone Wars
Director: Dave Filoni
Rating: Rated PG for sci-fi action violence throughout, brief language and momentary smoking.
Synopsis: The day has come for an animated Star Wars movie. Seriously.
Why Rent It?: I really never thought I’d see the day for an animated Star Wars theater release. Not that I think it is unnecessary, but is it really necessary? People hated on the prequels enough, and George has the brass to hand out another helping. I give the guy credit, he is merciless.
Sukiyaki Western Django
Director: Takashi Miike
Rating: Rated R for strong violence, including a rape.
Synopsis: A Japanese remake of the western Django.
Why Rent It?: So since Takashi Miike directs like 6 films a year…I don’t always jump at the opportunity to see all his films. The guy has talent, and this one looks cool. Is it worth a purchase though? I mean it has the Tarantino stamp of approval, but what does that even mean anymore?
The Perfect Holiday
Director: Lance Rivera
Cast: Morris Chestnut, Gabrielle Union, Faizon Love.
Rating: Rated PG for brief language and some suggestive humor.
Synopsis: This is almost as if a cliche and a cliche had a baby cliche.
Why Avoid It?: Oh god. I really don’t understand why anyone even makes holiday films anymore. What could you possibly do different? Unless you are planning on unleashing the Citizen Kane meets 2001: A Space Odyssey of christmas films, don’t bother. So what’s with the random Terrence Howard and Queen Latifah cameos? Were they just bored one day?
Beer For My Horses
Director: Michael Salomon
Cast: Toby Keith, Ted Nugent
Rating: Rated PG-13 for some violence, sexual humor and dialogue, language, drug content and brief nudity.
Synopsis: The worst example of a celebrity using their own money.
Why Avoid It?: I hate when celebrities have too much money. Stick to what you know Toby Keith. Keep making music for your fans. Don’t give them a reason to laugh at you. You aren’t an actor. I know your bank account tells you that you have the ability to do anything money can buy, but don’t do it buddy. Also, is this like a reunion of C actresses from The Rock? Claire Forlani and Gina Gershon together again, at last!
Director: Preston A. Whitmore II
Cast: Delroy Lindo, Chris Brown
Rating: Rated PG-13 for comic sexual content and some violence.
Synopsis: Another bad movie, disguised as a holiday film to give it purpose.
Why Avoid It?: Another rich kid, trying to work outside his element. Chris Brown puts the mic down long enough to try and start an acting career. This is also another one of those films that are written poorly, so they juxtapose it against the backdrop of the holidays as to try and make the audience forget it is a mediocre film. I am not fooled, Delroy Lindo. I have my eyes on you. Stop letting your career fade. IMDB him, this decade will make you cry.
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