A wise man once said “It’s not just about seeing Star Wars two weeks before everyone else. You’ve gotta plow through crap like Marie Antoinette and Catwoman as well.” I have the fortune of being able to see all of the films that I want, and find out that they are only worth one viewing (or less) before I would willingly pay for the DVD…and subsequently end up hating myself later. But for every The Whoopee Boys there has to be an Indiana Jones, and because of the great films I am able to put myself further in debt every week.
The Pitch: A fraternity of killers recruits a pansy.
Why Buy It?: First things first, Morgan Freeman drops an F-bomb. That right there. That’s the whole reason to buy it…Sorry, I blanked out. Wanted is a very fun, and action packed movie. From director Timur Bekmambetov, who gave us the Nightwatch and Daywatch films, this is an excellent breakthrough movie into the American mainstream. Angelina Jolie gives us a taste of what we used to enjoy about her, and Morgan Freeman drops an F-bomb. Not to mention that James McAvoy is one of the next big stars.
The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian
The Pitch: Kids, animals that talk…not adapted from a book written by an atheist.
Why Buy It?: Narnia is like the runner up for prom queen in the fantasy novel adaptation world, seething in bitter jealousy at LOTR, but it is still pretty good. The effects are great, the story is solid and Disney usually knows what they are doing. I liked the darker feel to this sequel, and I was a big fan of the first film but not it’s short run-time. We can certainly expect another film, so if you liked the first…just go ahead and buy this one. Do you think that The Golden Compass is like the runner up for prom queen in the religion based children’s fantasy novels?
The Pitch: Two 40 year old men, doing their best to be idiots.
Why Buy It?: This is one of those films that just don’t sit right with you on the first viewing. However, just like with old people, you come to a better understanding with the more you watch and observe. The movie is very very funny, and every member of the cast pitches in. I don’t see what is wrong with the situation, I would love to be Will Ferrell when I’m 40. My only gripe? I would have loved to see a flashback of Robert being a dinosaur.
Metalocalypse – Season 2
Synopsis: The best tv show about a death metal rock band ever…
Why Rent It?: I know I’m about to give this show high praise, and it is because I think the show is hilarious. However, 30 minute shows on DVD are rarely viewed more than once for me. So basically, I will rent it and watch it…and if I ever want to watch it again, I will just rent it again. This show is seriously hilarious though. If you haven’t seen it, it’s worth checking out.
The X-Files: I Want to Believe
Synopsis: A sequel to a movie, based on a show that a lot of people don’t remember.
Why Rent It?: I have teenage brothers, and they don’t remember the X-Files. I used to like the X-Files, but stopped caring some years ago. So who was this movie made for? It wasn’t the hardcore fans, they didn’t even like it? So who did? I am just curious. I want to at least see it. I din’t hear great things, and almost seventy percent of the budget went into paying the film’s two stars. So needless to say, the film is not effects driven. Anyone out there like this one?
A Colbert Christmas: The Greatest Gift of All
Synopsis: A Colbert holiday variety show, need I say more?
Why Rent It?:Funny, yes. Aired on Comedy Central a lot, yes. Worth spending money on, only if you are a huge fan or don’t own a DVR. This is Colbert’s very funny attempt at parodying all those Christmas specials that air this time of year. He has a bunch of special guests and learns to cope with his fear of bears. Oh, and John Stewart makes an appearance.
Bam Margera Presents: Where the #$&% is Santa?
Synopsis: A holiday movie that might just destroy your spirit.
Why Avoid It?: So it kills me to know that this guy still has some type of star power. I thought he would be gone by now. I haven’t seen one of his godawful deodorant commercials in forever. Why would anyone subject themselves to over an hour of him screaming out of the side of his mouth? Why can’t I make millions by being an idiot. Granted, FSR is my attempt at that, but I think I do it a bit more tastefully.
Synopsis: Another sports feel-good movie, now featuring Ice Cube.
Why Avoid It?: I was so ready to trash this movie unmercifully. I then found out that this was a true story about a girl who was the first girl to play in Pop Warner Football history. So, I’m going to take it easy. This movie is just another sports film, that falls into the same cliches of all the other hundreds of sports movies before it. Also, Ice Cube, take a cue from Dwayne Johnson and start using a name that parents feel comfortable saying to their children.
Frost/Nixon: The Original Watergate Interviews
Synopsis: You get to pay money for something that millions of people saw for free, thirty years ago.
Why Avoid It?: What is worse? Nixon totally abusing his position of power, or someone abusing their position of power by slapping this on a DVD. This is outrageous. I can watch this interview on youtube. I get it, there is a movie coming out soon about the exact same subject. People will want to know, and people will want to make money. That still doesn’t make this right.
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