Coroner’s Report: Wrong Turn 4

The first installment of the Wrong Turn franchise was a fun and surprising little tale of cannibals messing up young people in West Virginia after a few decades of inbreeding turned them into resilient monsters. The follow-up was a respectable attempt that took the series to it’s logical conclusion: Henry Rollins. As for the third entry, I’ll be honest with you, I have no idea what the fuck happened, but I assume it involved cannibals trying to eat young people.

Which brings us full circle to Wrong Turn 4: Bloody Beginnings, a movie that kind of almost sort of tells you how it all began. In case you were wondering, these in-bred meat eaters weren’t always wild – no, they spent a few weeks in an asylum before managing to escape, start a riot, and kill a good portion of the staff. Then the state of West Virginia apparently decided to pretend that never happened and just ignore that gigantic building, allowing the inbreeders to use it as their base of operations before they, I guess, move out into the woods by Wrong Turn.

That may sound like this movie was bad, but that’s just my snarky way of writing, in fact, the movie is quite –


At least a dozen people are killed during the movie, and most of them brutally. A kill or two may have slipped my attention in the first segment, which was the hectic asylum murder party.


These redneck murderous bastards do a good job of spreading the red. A jugular gets bit, a nose is eaten, an eye gets stabbed, a woman is given electroshock therapy until she dies, and a man is quartered. Though maybe he was fifthed, because when they’re done with him he’s in five pieces. Later we get a spike to the head, some stabbings, and a few heads are cut off. The highlights involve a very bloody and very awesome barbed wire noose and some heads popping off.


Within the first ten minutes we’re treated to two sex scenes, one of which features some lesbian cunnilingus, and we see a couple of pairs of white boobs and a delightful pair of ebony breasts. Later in the film we get another lesbian sex scene for good measure.


When you get a chance to kill the literal monsters trying to kill you, do so.


Bloody Beginnings starts on an awkward foot – it’s plenty violent, but the acting from the child retards is poor and the prosthetics are lackluster. One also wonders where these guests of the psychiatric system manage to get their hands on so much barbed wire throughout the film, but how they manage to get several yards of it while still in the asylum is the most boggling.

Written and directed by Declan O’Brien, Wrong Turn 4 is far from a masterpiece, but miles above his other works like Rock Monster and Sharktopus. If you’re tuning in to see exciting snowmobile footage or engaging characters, you’re obviously an idiot for choosing this movie. However, if you’re looking for hot women who get naked and then murdered, this movie fits the bill. There are some truly brutal moments, some great gore, and then some not so great CGI gore. Of course, in addition there are some truly stupid character decisions, like when they kind of whiny bitch says “We can’t just kill them!” Of course the fuck you can, burn those mother fuckers to a crisp then shoot the remains.

All in all, Wrong Turn 4 is a mindless addition to the series that doesn’t break much ground in terms of character or an engaging story, but kills enough people in enough ways to be worth a watch.

Robert Fure is many things: horror expert, ruggedly handsome man of the world, witty prose composer, and writer of his own biography page. Beneath the bravado is a scared little boy, ready to grow into an awesome man and make lies about a scared little boy inside of him. Wait a minute...

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