Coroner’s Report: Friday the 13th The Final Chapter Deluxe Edition


Back in February of this year Paramount put out the first three Friday the 13th movies to accompany the Warner Bros reboot of the franchise.  Now, four months later, we finally get the next group in line, parts IV, V, and VI, what fans sometimes refer to as “The Tommy Trilogy” in reference to the new character, Tommy Jarvis, who is in all three installments.  In this installment, young Tommy is played by Corey Feldman in what is probably his greatest acting role of all time, Lost Boys be damned.

FridayTheFinalChapterNot much is new in the fourth go-round of the franchise.  Near Crystal Lake a group of young adults head off to a house in the wood to party, drink, smoke, and sex and end up on the wrong side of many sharp objects.  A nearby house is the home of the Jarvis family while a relative of a previous victim attempts to hunt Jason through the woods.  This, of course, doesn’t really end well for anyone.


The movie starts off with a flashback of the previous three film and throws up about 9 kills in that period.  Once the actual movie gets going, a further fourteen people, including Jason himself, bleed out and die.


My notebook page ran out of space.  Among the violence we see a bonesaw to the neck, a head wrenched, a stab and slit, a throat stab, a gut stab that comes out the spine, some spear action, a knife to the head, and a cork screw to the hand.  That is not all!  There is a slo-mo toss out a window onto a car, a body nailed to a wall, an axe to the heart, a knife to the brain, a hand chop, a head chop, a hacked up body, and best of all – a speargun to the ballsack.


My pen weeped ink everywhere in a rush to note all the delicious, beautiful boobies.  There is a butt shot with some panty peaking (Jason sort of grabs it!), lots of boobs, female butts, dude butts, more boobs, lingerie, a shower sex scene with a butt press and best of all – twins exposing boobs simultaneously!


Never leave a guaranteed fuck to gloat over your friend or get some wine.  Just fuck.  Also, stay the hell away from Camp Crystal Lake already!

Relax, he's fine.


The filmmakers set out to do something different with The Final Chapter of the franchise – they aimed to unquestionably kill Jason.  This was to be the end.  That didn’t work out so well, but the movie, for the most part, does.  It starts ok with the flashback and two good kills but then takes its time for like 50 minutes without much in the way of killing – but plenty of nudity spread throughout.  Crispin Glover co-stars in the film and lays down the “Dead Fuck Dance” which is like an epileptic mosh pit that elevates the film to unheard of heights.

Unlike the perception of Jason in other movies, this masked killer is something of a mental terrorist.  He hangs bodies around the house to terrify his victims, disables lights and phones, and even runs, though at the end he’s not very threatening as he’s outsmarted and outfought by a 10 year old boy and a 20 year old girl.  But, he does manage to break a lot of windows.  Like five or six.  And most of them are broken by something going through them.  Like a person.  This could have been called Slow Motion Window Crash: The Movie. It raised the everlasting question – does the dog jump out of the window or was he thrown by Jason?  Scholars maintain that the initial idea was that Jason tossed the dog out the window, but these days most people agree the dog jumped to get the hell out of there, abandoning his loyal child servant.  Awesome.

The Final Chapter definitely loses points for starting so slow, but it wins most of them back by exploding with violence and murder in the last 20 minutes.  The film also deserves credit for basically creating the mold and mastering it when it comes to the sex equals punishment rule.  All of the characters who have sex in the film die.  Perhaps the most awesome and memorable moment of the film is when a virginal girl has sex with her boyfriend in a sensual shower scene.  He confesses to being in heaven, she confesses her love.  Then Jason slams the guys nose bone into his brain, killing him.  As the ex-virgin flees, Jason tosses an axe into her heart.  Wow.  She has sex, falls in love, then gets an axe in her heart.  That is literature.

This Deluxe Edition DVD is awesome.  It has a couple of different commentaries and Part 4 of the “Lost Tales of Camp Blood” series.  Additionally there is a making of, cut scenes, an alternate ending, outtakes of Crispin Glover’s dancing, and a nifty little faux-news featurette called The Crystal Lake Massacres Revisited Part 1.  Fans will be happy to see recognizable faces as well as some dedicated fans and supporters – like Del, the owner/operator of Burbank’s Dark Delicacies store (great place for horror books) and ShockTillYouDrop Editor Ryan Rotten. This is a must own if you don’t already have a copy and if you do – it’s probably worth an update.

Grade: B-

Robert Fure is many things: horror expert, ruggedly handsome man of the world, witty prose composer, and writer of his own biography page. Beneath the bravado is a scared little boy, ready to grow into an awesome man and make lies about a scared little boy inside of him. Wait a minute...

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