Coroner’s Report: Friday the 13th Part V

In the interest of completionism, of course I’m going to talk about Friday the 13th V. This installment of the franchise is a tricky one to talk about.  It is one of (sort of) two installments that don’t feature Jason Voorhees as the killer and in a way marks the downfall of the franchise.  Then again, it marks the first real ‘Jason’ film as fans most likely know him – full on hockey mask, machete swinging, lots of gore.  Before this, the body counts were never as high and the gore wasn’t as prevalent.

Friday13th_NewBeginningIn Part V Tommy Jarvis, who killed Voorhees in the previous installment, has grown up into a trouble young man and goes to a half-way house to try to get his head straight, but mostly he just stands around looking pissed and fighting dudes.  Apparently at some point in his gone-crazy sessions he took some martial arts lessons, to better kick the asses of the undead.  Soon, killings start up again and a familiar looking hockey-faced bad guy looks to be the one behind it all.


By my count right around 20 people were killed in this movie, making it one of the bloodier installments of the franchise.


There are plenty of stabbings and a seemingly mentally-challenged (more on this later) guy is hacked to death with an axe.  An arm is cut off, a road flare gets shoved in a mouth, some throats are slit, and an axe finds its way into a skull and a gut.  Stomachs are popular targets and also end up skewered on knives while a large pair of shears plunge through some heads.  A head is popped, a pole is shoved through someones spine and two people get chopped in the face before someone is knocked into a bed of spikes.


I rarely say boob shots are ‘gratuitous’ but this movie definitely has one.  We also see some boobs and butt during a sex scene and some boobs and panties later on.


I’ll be honest, this movie didn’t teach me anything.  I guess don’t kill people because then their relatives will kill you.


Friday the 13th V is a movie that tears at your very soul.  On one hand, it’s not that great but on the other, it really is the start of a new direction for the franchise.  While that direction birthed some hideous fetuses, it created the Jason we would eventually know and love.  The grown up Tommy Jarvis is a bit of a bitch and the house he stays at is full of people who are quite literally retarded.  Like bona-fide mentally challenged.  Those are bold steps for a film to take considering you’re going to have some guy slaughter his way through these sad, sad people.  One can’t complain too much about Tommy Jarvis though, considering the fact that other than looking pensive or angry he only has three lines.

We are punished with some of the worst characters to ever grace a Friday film, including a fast talking pothead in a Michael Jackson rip-off outfit who is always quick to offer an enchilada.  Strange indeed.  The film’s writers want to reward us with a machete versus chainsaw battle at the end of the film which sounds fantastic  but ultimately fails in execution.  It is worth noting that the film required something like 9 reviews by the MPAA before it was granted an R rating from the MPAA due to sex and violence.  Perhaps on the cutting room floor somewhere remains the vestiges of a completely awesome slasher romp.  As it stands, A New Beginning doesn’t really begin the franchise anew in the way they intended, but in the end it’s not that bad of a time for fans of the franchise.

Grade: C

Robert Fure is many things: horror expert, ruggedly handsome man of the world, witty prose composer, and writer of his own biography page. Beneath the bravado is a scared little boy, ready to grow into an awesome man and make lies about a scared little boy inside of him. Wait a minute...

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