Coroner’s Report: Autopsy


You thought I forgot about you and the After Dark Horrorfest III titles, didn’t you?  It’s ok.  I forgive you.  Though I must warning, my forgiveness comes at the edge of a scalpel.  Moving along with this years Horrorfest we come to Autopsy, a film I dug for the most part.  Overall, I thought this years releases were far more consistent – most were in the ‘pretty good’ category with a few outliers, where as in years past you’d get two or three good ones and then six terrible ones.

dvd-autopsyAutopsy is the story of a group of friends who are involved in a car accident.  Not so luckily for them an ambulance of immediately questionable ex-con looking mothers (as in mother fuckers, not maternal parents) pulls up and offers to take them to a hospital.  Once they get to the suspiciously empty facility, people do as people do in horror movies and start dying.


The film sports an impressive kill tally of nine folks sent to the big hereafter.  A few kills get tallied in the lame column and one or two are mostly off-screen, but some good gore makes up for it.


The movie has a handful of bloody corpses, an awesome shard of glass stuck comically deep in some guys side and a boat load of removed organs.  There is a lumbar puncture followed by the drinking of spinal fluid, some hammer smashing, a lot of removed body parts and blood, death by needle, a smashed face, and one kill that is awesome and needs to be seen – it basically equates to using living organs as chandeliers!


The ladies are cute and we get a bra shot, but nothing for the dudes here.  The ladies get naked man butt.



If you and your six friends make up 100% of the waiting room of a hospital, odds are it is a secret laboratory for a madman or an organ harvesting plant.  Get the hell out of there!

Sketchy as Hell


Autopsy starts with a cool montage though shortly thereafter we’re confronted with our sketchy ambulance drivers, one of whom is played by the massively tattooed Robert LaSardo.  If any real person met these two convicts, they’d totally know something was up and get the hell out of there.  Luckily for us, this group of friends aren’t Rhodes Scholars.  I was pleasantly surprised and pleased to see Robert Patrick as the demented Dr. David Benway.  He is always awesome and this appearance is no exception.

This isn’t a film for everyone, at times intentionally humorous and often unintentionally as well.  It’s a perfect example of a “bad” horror film done right.  It’s not the greatest movie ever and the actors aren’t terrific, but it all clicks together and works, at least for me.  I especially liked the cinematography, which utilized some rarely seen color palettes in a hospital setting, with a fair bit of neon light in spaces.  The fresh take on the same old setting helped liven it up a bit.

While some of the kills are disappointing in what we actually get to see, the film does have two or three really great gore moments that should please anyone who watches it.  One of them is jaw dropping awesome in that campy “Oh shit!” kind of way.  Autopsy won’t make your Top 10 of the year list, but it is a fun and bloody way to spend 80-some minutes.  All in all, one of the better films this year, a good blend of humor, camp, and gore.

Grade: B-

Robert Fure is many things: horror expert, ruggedly handsome man of the world, witty prose composer, and writer of his own biography page. Beneath the bravado is a scared little boy, ready to grow into an awesome man and make lies about a scared little boy inside of him. Wait a minute...

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