Now, before I even get close to making a point about where the love is in the film critic world, I know how absurd it may seem to talk about love in a column about hate. But as the saying goes, it’s a fine line between love and hate and all of my rage comes from a place of love. I love movies and film and art and entertainment. I get enraged when things I love are threatened. Whether it’s Evil Dead or the actual theater-going experience, I try to only get mad for reasonable things. I mean, I get unreasonably mad, that’s true, but generally with good intent in my heart.
But it seems these days it’s hip to be an asshole. It’s cool to shit on things before we know anything about them. It’s one thing to get mad early once in awhile – like against the new Evil Dead – but it’s another to get mad about everything early. It seems like every day my Twitter feed is full of two things. First, news. Second, people hating it.
Where is the love?
Most people get into the business of movie reviewing because we love movies. It’s a natural fit. But, after a constant bombardment of truly, shitty films, sometimes we turn into negative Nancies. It’s okay to crap all over crap films. That’s what honest people do, and you know what? It gets a lot of readers. We bond over our anger. We’re like a tribe of angry drunks, ready to kill together – which is fun.
What has people up in arms these days? Well, everything except for Attack the Block, it seems. The new look at Tom Hardy as Bane in The Dark Knight Rises. Yeah, he’s wearing a trench coat and looks kind of dumb – but let’s be clear here, we have no idea what we’re seeing. Maybe this is a one-off coat. Maybe this is a brief scene. Maybe this is just a glimpse. We have no idea what the finished product will be or what the finished framing and lighting of the shot will be. There’s no way of judging that costume right now. That’s not an official still. So getting bent out of shape over a grainy cell phone image is kind of bullshit, where as getting upset over the shitty Green Lantern costume stills is legit, because that’s official imagery that got signed off on by someone.
A little while ago people were all torn up over hating Transformers: Dark of the Moon, despite it being awesome, but hey, that’s okay. At least they went and saw it before shitting on it.
With the recent release of Captain America going well, you’d think The Avengers would have some positive buzz behind it: not so in the film critic world. What little we’ve seen of it has a bewildering share of people upset. Whether it’s Thor’s new sleeveless look or Captain America’s boots (seriously) or how “fake” his IMAGINARY SUPER HERO UNIFORM looks, it’s there. And I don’t get it. We’ve seen literally about 37 seconds of the movie. It’d be one thing to dismiss the footage, it’s another to dismiss the movie.
The teaser for The Dark Knight Rises was shit. It didn’t reveal anything (durrr teaser!) but nor did it entice me at all. So the teaser is bad. However, in no way am I now qualified to judge the movie. So getting upset over a teaser and thinking you can extrapolate that to the film is bullshit.
What else? What if I told you a genre film like Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3D was casting a lot of talent from the original film? You’d say that’s awesome right? Haha, sucker, clearly you’re not a film critic! Because otherwise you would call it “fan wanking” and otherwise find some way to be negative and complain about something that is clearly good news.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I can be a negative dude in this column. I get it. Superficially, this seems hypocritical – but like Conan, not only do I slay and live, I love, and am content. I love tons of comedies and action films that other people shit on. I know what I like and I’m not afraid to love it. I like to think I overlook flaws in a lot of areas. Hell, half the time I’m past my boiling point it’s because I’m defending something, not attacking it.
I just think we all need to take a step back and take a look at ourselves. If you find yourself shitting on movie after movie, hating costume after costume, without ever finding something to love – what the fuck is wrong with you? Movies are entertainment. Movies are fun. Movies are love. So once in awhile, lighten up and have some fun. I mean, seriously, I’m the angriest guy on the internet and even I’m tired of this over abundance of hate. It’s finally happened – anger has made me so angry I’m past my boiling point because of it.