Boiling Point: The Same Old Oscars

Boiling PointEvery year about this time it’s become custom for me to spew a whole lot of vitriol, venom, and curses about the Academy Awards. Some of my most vile diatribes have been brought to the surface by the Oscars – Juno is still a pile of shit.

As you’re probably starting to glean, this year is no different. They’re still the same old Oscars and I’m still the same young
handsome boy modeling school graduate who’s got shit to say about them.
For weeks now The King’s Speech has been bandied about as the frontrunner to win plenty of big awards – and it did. Magazines like Entertainment Weekly ran headlines like “Can Anyone Beat Colin Firth?” No one could.

Is this because The King’s Speech is that good? Colin Firth that untouchable? Entertainment Weekly just that damn good at predicting stuff? No, no, and nope. The Oscars are just that predictable. And boring. And old.

Some movies are just “Oscar movies” and that’s bullshit. Why should the Academy members always reward the same types of movies? The Academy Awards are supposed to reward the best of the year – not necessarily the best drama or the best sad movie or the best anything specific. They’re supposed to reward the best movies, period.

Is The King’s Speech great? Sure. But is it the greatest movie of the year? Should it have gone to something more popular like Inception? Nah, Inception wasn’t that good. But in plenty of years previous good, nay, great, movies have been overlooked because they’re not “Academy Movies.” I’m not talking about Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen or Commando or Friday the 13th Part 5. Those are fine movies, but no one would argue them best of the year – even if they may have been the most interesting of the year.

No, I’m talking about say, Alien, Aliens, or The Thing. Ridiculously good movies. The Thing is on my favorite movies of all times and one that I always bring up in this conversation. Alien as well. These are two genre movies that are just, from start to finish, excellently made, acted, and received. Why aren’t they ever viable candidates for Best Picture? Is The Thing really less of a candidate because it’s not about a retard overcoming the odds?

That’s my required insensitive line of the article.

Anyway, I’ve said this before. You’ve heard this before. You probably wanted The Dark Knight to be Best Picture two years ago. I didn’t, but hey, I’d appreciate the nod going to a non-traditional type of film. It seems that over the past, I don’t know, forever, movies had to either be gloomy, serious, pretentious, quirky, boring, or some hellish mixture of all of them to be considered for an Academy Award.

All I’m saying is this: why can’t a fun movie win once in awhile? Or a genre picture?

Again, it’s not Best Drama. It’s Best Picture. No caveats. So listen up Oscar, let’s nominate some worthy pictures that don’t need mentally handicapped protagonists or heady human drama.  It’s not that these movies aren’t good or worthy, it’s just that every year a King’s Speech wins I go past my boiling point. I mean, hell, we’ve got a shit ton of nominations available now, so let’s give love to some genre flicks.

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Robert Fure is many things: horror expert, ruggedly handsome man of the world, witty prose composer, and writer of his own biography page. Beneath the bravado is a scared little boy, ready to grow into an awesome man and make lies about a scared little boy inside of him. Wait a minute...

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