Boiling Point: Superbowl Commercials

Boiling PointThere has been the odd occasion throughout the years we’ve taken a moment to talk about commercials. Whether it was starring Michael Bay (Verizon FiOS is AWESOME) or directed by him (Victoria’s Secret is out), or just something especially cool, we’ll talk about it. So it would then make sense to talk about them now, the day after the Super Bowl, which is far more entertaining because of the commercials than the actual game. Okay, the fourth quarter was alright this year.

Anyway, I don’t walk to talk about the specifics of these commercials because that’s not actually what this is about. You see, this year I did a little experiment. I didn’t watch most of the Super Bowl and I skipped almost all of the commercials. Why? Because I wanted to know if I had seen them already. So when people started describing these commercials to me about how funny they were – I already knew. And that is bullshit. Click through to find out why.

I’m not from the future. Nor do I have magic powers. At least not ones that involve commercials. I have, however, worked on commercials in the past and perhaps a little more tuned in (natch!) to them than most. I hear about good commercials earlier, but I don’t get screeners or anything. So how did I see these commercials early? Simple – they’re everywhere. A ton were online before the Super Bowl. Almost all are probably own by now at least. Some were shown early on TV even. Kind of like a commercial sneak preview.

What the fuck man?

What is our obsession with early? Why do we rush to have everything out there ahead of time. What happened to the days of watching the Super Bowl and being genuinely surprised and entertained by the commercials? What happened to going to the movies and seeing a preview for a movie you’ve never heard of on the big screen? Why do we have to know about everything before it’s supposed to happen?

What reason is there to put these commercials out early? To get an early buzz? On how good your commercial is? OH SHIT, I better tune into the Super Bowl because I’ve heard the Volkswagon commercial is just killer this year. Ridiculous.

This isn’t really about Super Bowl commercials. This is just a request. A plea. Settle the fuck down and let events be events. We don’t need special previews, early tips, and whatever other kinds of bullshit you’re thinking of. Who needs a sneak peak at a God damned commercial? Why are there trailers advertising the next trailer? Why are there trailer viewings where all people watch is the trailer? Get realistic for a second. We don’t need this. We don’t need it early. Yes it’s a minor gripe, but it’s annoying. Let Super Bowl commercials air during the Super Bowl. Let trailers premiere in movie theaters. Let things happen for the first time when they’re scheduled for the first time. Call the sneak preview the premiere if that makes you happy. No tease necessary here, I’m already past my advertised boiling point.

Robert Fure is many things: horror expert, ruggedly handsome man of the world, witty prose composer, and writer of his own biography page. Beneath the bravado is a scared little boy, ready to grow into an awesome man and make lies about a scared little boy inside of him. Wait a minute...

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