Boiling Point: Super Computers


Movies are all about the suspension of disbelief.  I get that.  When I stroll into a theater to check out a movie about an alien Keanu Reeves piloting a giant orb down to Manhattan, I’m not going expecting an experience that stings of reality.  When I watch Super Cops in CSI: Miami, I want one liners and extravagant murder plots.  I shouldn’t be bothered by little things, right?  Well, I am.   And what’s bothering me this week is super computers.  Not even some HAL-9000 stuff.  This bullshit 3D floating screen touch sensitive bull.

I get that computers are advanced and sure, I guess the government might have access to some sweet technology.  But seriously.  What the fuck is going on with all these like, floating 3D touch computers?  You’ve seen them.  Someone is in a room surrounded by images and digital screens and they reach out and touch them and toss them around the screen and move them in and out of order.  Bah.  CSI: Miami is probably the worst, as the screen is literally some future Star Trek hologram bologna.  I’ve been to a government office and it’s more like huge white box CRT monitors running Windows 3.0.

A slightly more realistic version of this technology was in Quantum of Solace, where MI6 had some touch sensitive flat screens that they gleefully scrolled through.  Sure, this technology is plausible, but is it necessary?  A similar system was in The Day the Earth Stood Still, where people effortlessly maneuver images around and access all sorts of files without the aide of a keyboard or a mouse.  Just point and touch and flick and grab or whatever.  I think I figured out how to reduce government spending, cut down on these damn touch flick screen computers!  Tony Stark in Iron Man also had one, complete with a fully tactile 3D modeling system, though considering he built a suit of powered armor and is one of the smartest men on Earth, I’ll let that one slide.

Who is it in Hollywood that thinks these things are so cool?  Why are they so prevalent?  This is a lot like my rant on free running from last week.  Sure that shit is cool, but when anyone and everyone can do it, it’s not cool.  Same here, it makes sense for some people to have these awesome computers, but the cops in CSI: Miami? Lab assistants and scientists and Kathy Bates, magically waving their hands around and accessing files without the use keyboards or mice.  These people could easily achieve the same effect with a desktop and a projector, but no, they have to be ultra hip and modern and cool.

So maybe I’m the only one who notices, or the only one who cares, but I’m tired of this magical invisible hologram touchy screen computer things.  They’re just everywhere and that’s not cool, they’re over exposed and over used and in the weirdest of places.  All I know is that when I see random ass people mastering a weirdo floating computer screen hologram thing I bubble past my boiling point.

What do you think about these floating super computers?

Robert Fure is many things: horror expert, ruggedly handsome man of the world, witty prose composer, and writer of his own biography page. Beneath the bravado is a scared little boy, ready to grow into an awesome man and make lies about a scared little boy inside of him. Wait a minute...

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