Here at Film School Rejects, we don’t pride ourselves on much. Perhaps just the fact that we don’t cover reality TV. So, I’m about to shit on that to talk to you about a little show tearing up the airwaves (digital signals?) called Jersey Shore. Once I tell you that it’s on MTV, you can probably guess it’s about some borderline retarded Guidos living together in a house where things stop being polite and starting getting real or some other sort of bullshit. Basically, a whole bunch of typical Jersey people make a lot of noise, use a lot of hair gel, and unknowingly make complete asses of themselves while they flaunt their dance moves and say things like “I’m the Kim Kardasian of Staten Island” or “Yo bro let’s get some CHICKS!”
Why am I talking about this? Well, number one, I can’t seem to avoid it. It’s everywhere. Other critics are talking about it amongst themselves, heck, if Kristen Bell is talking about it on Twitter. And now it’s in the news. You see, some girl who goes by the alter-ego of Snooki gets punched in the face by a dude. Not some playful love tap, either. She gets drilled and goes down. He goes to jail. This is the kind of shit producers are begging for on the show. This is on the news, on the advertisements, in conversation, everywhere. Everyone wants to see this episode. So MTV has decided to cut out the footage of Snooki getting hit.
That’s bullshit. You’ve convinced me, MTV, to watch this piece of shit you call Jersey Shore. You’ve lured me in with advertisements of a guy punching a girl in the face. Trashy television to the extreme. The kind of trash you peddle, constantly, on this and other shows. Now you have some sort of conscience? No, this is fucking reality television. Roll the fucking footage. Reality TV is supposed to at least pretend to be real. Let’s be honest here. Some stupid girl was drunk and trash talking a drunk guy at a bar in Jersey. Are we surprised this is the outcome? And could this be any more blatantly sexist? In the first episode, “DJ Pauly D” (who is apparently Rhode Island’s most well known DJ) sucker punched some guy who was being held back by his friends. The crew then giddily danced out of the bar, celebrating the punch. DJ Pauly then gives hints directly to the camera, telling the audience that the best place to punch someone is right in the nose because it only takes 8 pounds of pressure (or something) to break it.
So a guy sucker punches another guy, who’s being held back, and that’s good TV. Some mouthy girl gets punched by a guy and this is unviewable. That’s a pile of shit. This is Trash TV. Show it. You wanted it to happen, now don’t back away. Don’t self-censor this out of some attempt at regaining your dignity. As a channel, like most that push reality shows, you have no respect from the audience. You’re a joke and you always will be when you air these shows. At least air them in their entirety. This can go to any show, fictional or not – don’t pull back. When you choose your path, you walk it to the end. Show the punch. Be fair. We see guys get drilled on the time and we cheer. Now you’ve got some emotional, shocking footage that you could, if you wanted to, use to make a point about drinking and violence or this or that. But instead you fill the airwaves with advertisements and then refuse to deliver. Fuck you, MTV, and Jersey Shore, and anyone who thinks it’s wise to biasedly censor out this violence. I’m past my boiling point.