Boiling PointSadly, this article arrives far, far too late. I come to bury Adam Sandler and Jim Carrey, not to praise them. But they’re not dead. No, they are both very much alive and making movies, which is a little unfortunate. Not that they’re alive. That they’re making movies. Or at least that they’re making the movies they do.

Yes, this article is years behind, but after revisiting some comedy classics like Ace Ventura: Pet Detecitve and Billy Madison, I just can’t look at another fucking Jack and Jill billboard without saying something. What happened to these guys? Money, success, power, time. Yes, all of those things happened to them and generally that leads to a downslide in movie quality. Or at least a downslide to a different type of comedy. Maybe there is an age where even the most immature of us suddenly grows up and doesn’t want to talk out of his asshole or argue the finer points of shampoo versus conditioner.

Fear not, dear readers, for I have not yet reached that age.

No, I still relish fart jokes and bask in their warmth. I’ll take half-pint after half-pint of milk from children and never tell anyone. They don’t gots to know about it – it could be our milk god damn it. However, it seems that Carrey & Sandler, once carriers of the titty joke torch left us long ago. Revisiting their filmographies strangely reveals that they disappeared roughly around the same time period: 2000.

It was then Adam Sandler stumbled with Little Nicky, recovering slightly but more maturely in Big Daddy, before moving on to Punch Drunk Love and then never really returning to his childish roots of humor. Jim Carrey’s Truman Show was in 1998, but he tried to get dirty again in 2000′s Me, Myself, and Irene before leaving the crazy train behind in favor of The Majestic. After that, his ass was never to speak a word again.

So where are they now? Sitting on heaps of beautiful money. Sandler has recently given us Grown Ups, Just Go With It, and the abysmal cinematic abortion that is Jack and Jill. Even if you find some measure of humor in any of these, you’ve got to admit the guy has gone soft on us. Billy Madison and Happy Gilmore pretty much define my sense of humor. I miss that lovable moron. Seeing a cross-dressing Sandler sitting on a CGI pony that collapses under the weight of his fat suit doesn’t harken back to fond memories, it makes me shed a sad tear, like an Italian actor overlooking a garbage dump.

I’m actually a fan of Carrey’s Yes Man, which proves that these guys can still make entertaining movies, but they’re just so different. Recall Fire Marshall Bill, Ace Ventura, Stanley Ipkiss or even the dreaded Cable Guy. He was so animated and different and entertaining in an offbeat way. Where did that go? Did he grow up? Did Jenny McCarthy make him skip too many booster shots?

Both of these guys are fine entertainers and are obviously doing the right kinds of things to make shit tons of money. They’ve changed their focus from appealing to guys like me and to appealing to families – there’s a lot of money to be had there. I like money. I do. I get it. I don’t even know what I would do for fourteen million dollars, but I can guarantee you it would be far more degrading than Messing with the Zohan.

That said, as I age (not mature) and approach crotchety old man standards, I can complain about missing things from my youth or yearn for the way things used to be. I want a fucking idiot Adam Sandler movie. I want the last ten years of them. I want a wild and crazy Jim Carrey. Fucking Ace Ventura is hilarious even on a rewatch, but it’s like watching an alien performance, knowing who and what Jim Carrey is now.

To be clear, I am not necessarily upset at these guys. The money they were offered would corrupt any man’s soul. The studios saw these popular guys and wanted to capitalize on that by putting them into more family-friendly movies. That’s the nature of the business. While I feel ripped off in the transaction, I understand. I just wanted to formally, a decade late, say goodbye to the movies these guys made that influenced me so heavily. Those days are gone and when I see them on TV, I can’t help but fondly remember the good old days briefly before my rage at their loss settles in and I go past my boiling point.

But hey…guys…If you want to try to make this type of movie again…I’ll be waiting. No homo.

Need more anger in your life? Read more Boiling Point.


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