There is talk all of a sudden about porn stars crossing over into films after Kevin Smith dropped some professionals into Zack and Miri Make a Porno. Two of our staffers even mouthed off at each other over the subject. But really, are one or two examples enough to really jump-start some sort of crazed prediction over the future of film? Several news sites have run articles about these porn crossovers and seem to think that’s the way Hollywood is going. Give me a break.
Listen, porn stars are awesome. I like the fact that they’re naked like all the time. That’s awesome. And so a very select few have managed to move a few steps away from porn and appear in non-pornographic films. The list is very short. I love Katie Morgan more than the next guy, but come on, this is not the wave of the future. Let’s be honest with each other – when you hear a porn star is in a movie, you want to see her in it because you’re hoping she’s naked. We don’t care about porn stars with their clothes on. Who gives a fuck? Even if a porn star can pass as an actor, if she keeps her clothes on, why bother? I’m sure there are other girls out there who can pull off the same level of acting. If boobs aren’t involved, why cast a porn star and disappoint me?
I don’t want porn stars to cross over. What’s the big deal about seeing Jenna Jameson in a major motion picture? What am I going to see there that’s so special? I don’t know if anyone else realizes this, but when I want to see Jenna Jameson or Katie Morgan, I can just pop in a porno and see them buck naked doing the nasty. That is ten thousand times better than seeing them stumble through a scene or bumble around a cheap horror movie set.
Why should we try to cross porn stars over, anyways? All we’re doing is watering it down. We don’t want to make it ok for porn stars to not be porn stars! If the hottest porn stars move over to film, they might try to earn a living with their clothes on and that would be a damn tragedy. Let’s not mix our pots, ok? Movies are like that nice girl you’re dating and you take home for Thanksgiving. She’s great and funny and in the bedroom she does a good job. Porn stars are those wild skanks who should never even get into your parent’s zip code, much less their living room. Keep movie stars and porn stars separate!
I blame the speed of the media in trying to fill up 24 hours of bullshit news (I’m still raging on that from last week) in this. You can name more than one movie that has a porn star in it? Fuck, it must be a revolution! This is the future! Well guess what, I can name 150 movies that don’t have a porn star in it and 500 pornos that don’t have real actors in it. So settle down, world. One or two examples of something does not call for us to rewrite the history books or change the way we view the world. Porn stars are great at sex but poor at acting. Let’s just settle down and keep the porn stars naked and in work and away from the cinema. But whatever we do, lets not blow up some minor little flavor of the weekend into a great big prediction of the future, or much like today, you’ll push my right past my boiling point.
Are porn stars the future or is everyone jumping the gun?
Boiling Point is the weekly home to the angry opinions of FSR West Coast Editor and resident Rage-aholic Robert Fure. Every week he enlightens you with what has been bothering him over the past week. When Robert reaches his ‘boiling point,’ its probably a good time for Hollywood to take cover. For more, check out the Boiling Point Archive.