Boiling Point: Actors Are Not Casting Directors

Boiling Point: Actors Are Not Casting Directors

As our editor Neil recently noted, Beyoncé is throwing her name in the arena for the Wonder Woman movie.  Luckily, today is Monday which means I’ve got dibs on going fucking insane over this before Kevin can proclaim WTF?

Seriously.  Where do I begin?  First off, as Neil noted, Beyoncé is a horrid, horrid actress. Scratch that. She’s not an actress.  She’s a singer.  A good one.  But acting is not her forte.  I’ll rage about these crossover people later; success in one arena does not and should not necessarily translate into success in another arena.  So cross her off based on that.

Secondly, I’m tired of actors trying to cast themselves in roles. Sure, everyone has the dream project they want to work on, but the way to do that is to pitch it to a studio. Going straight to the media with it is ridiculous.  It’s just like the attention whoring I ripped on recently. Taking your plea to be a certain character straight out there is akin to saying “The studio doesn’t want me because I suck, but I figure if I can get fans behind it they’ll capitulate.”  Well, if the studio thinks you suck, what makes you think the fans are going to get behind this?  Does Beyoncé actually think all the fans of Wonder Woman are going to get up in arms to get a poor actress in the costume?  No thanks.  As far as I’m concerned, anyone who was in Goldmember probably should be on some sort of banned list anyways.

Perhaps the only thing worse than an actor that just throws their name out there to beg their way into a project is one who can afford to just buy their way in. Nicolas Cage, I’m looking at you.  Ghost Rider — seriously?  Ghost Rider is a bad ass character but Cage did a pretty good job of making the worst movie ever.  But his star power, or more accurately, his money generating ability, lets him pick roles and get projects going.  Studios blindly fall in line behind the dollar signs that never show up.  Remember when Nic Cage was jockeying for position as Superman — and was actually being considered?  That’s beyond stupid, that’s selfish.

Actors are out for themselves, I get that.  They like certain characters, sure.  But really, if you love something don’t you want it to be good?  Don’t you want it to be true? I’m not going to audition for the role of Blade or Storm Shadow or Red Sonja.  I’m a white guy with a beard — despite how much those characters kick ass, I should have absolutely nothing to do those characters.  Iconic characters should be represented accurately and in big budget movies, with people who can actually act.  Anytime I hear about some actor whining and begging in the media to be some character they’ve got no business being in the same as, I lost my shit and go past my boiling point.

Which casting choices do you think have been terrible and ill thought out?

Robert Fure is many things: horror expert, ruggedly handsome man of the world, witty prose composer, and writer of his own biography page. Beneath the bravado is a scared little boy, ready to grow into an awesome man and make lies about a scared little boy inside of him. Wait a minute...

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