Editor’s Note: This article has what you might call SPOILERS and should not be read by anyone.

Despite coming in number one for the weekend with a reported haul north of $30 million, likely surpassing its budget, there is little love out there for the Platinum Dune’s relaunch of A Nightmare on Elm Street. Whether they were super fans of the original or preferred their gloved killers to crack wise instead of cracking skulls, a lot of people seemed to have a problem with the remake.  But not me. This horror hound and self-professed expert on horror (I’m also a self-professed expert on love making, terminal ballistics, and fajitas) totally dug the film. You know the deal, here are 10 things I rocked out on and 5 things that left me cold.

10 Things I Liked

10. The New Look

While perhaps not as openly cool as the original design for the dream demon, I liked the new look and its basis in reality. Is it the face of a monster? No. But is it the face you’d have after some parents doused you in kerosene and set your face on fire? Yes.

9. The Run Time

I bitch and moan a lot of about the run time of movies, but A Nightmare on Elm Street nails it at 90 minutes on the dot.

8. Immediate Action

The film wastes no time in spilling some blood and from then on out, there is always something Krueger-related just around the corner. I thought the film kept up a good pace throughout.

7.  MILFs on Elm Street

Connie Briton and Lia Mortensen play the moms of Nancy and Kris, and both are hot. If it weren’t for the Springwood Slasher I’d consider moving there to hang out with these ladies.

6.  Great Cinematography

As expected with the always technically proficient Platinum Dunes crew, the film is wonderful to look at. The flick is slick, and the dream sequences are stylish.

5.  Katie Cassidy

She plays the ill-fated Kris but gets a surprising amount of screen-time and fills it with being really attractive. Yes, I’m shallow.

4.  No Insane Dreams

The first flick wasn’t known for having the insane nightmares (giant worms eating people, human cockroaches) but the later sequels pushed the limit on nutty nightmares. This film took the less is more approach and kept the nightmares sane.

3.  Krueger is a Dirty Pedophile

How do you take a child killer and make him a more loathsome creature? Simple – have him molest the kids before he cuts them.

2.  Nasty Language

Freddy has always been known for his admiration and use of the word “bitch,” his go to curse, but this go around his mouth turns downright nasty in the last 15 minutes of the film as he peppers his victims with obscenity.

1. Freddy Krueger is a Mother Fucker

Seriously, this guy couldn’t get any meaner. First, he molests and tortures children. Then, as a dream killer, he ends their lives. If that wasn’t enough, he uses dreams to lure the kids back to the site of his crimes and frees their repressed memories. The kids had forgotten they were raped and abused so Krueger reminds them, then tells them to fuck off and he tries to murder them. This dude is an asshole.

5 Things I Didn’t Like

5.  No Crazy Dreams

How can it be both good and bad? Simple – some of the sequels were cool. I would have liked to have seen some elements of the nastier dreams come into play.

4.  Nancy is Tardy

Nancy, the heroine, is in the first scene, but then takes a 20 minute hiatus as we stay with Kris. If you’re going to be the star, you might want to be in the first act.

3.  No Boobs

The Nightmare series isn’t known for its boobs – as far as I can definitely remember, there is a pair in NOES5 and two pair in Freddy vs Jason. This movie could have done the right thing and shown us some ta-tas.

2.  Not Enough Tongue

For a confirmed pedophile in this (I suspect Krueger always was a pedo), he only has a few sexually based quips and attacks.  Taking a cue from the sequels, he should have used his tongue as a weapon or at least made some more crude gestures.

1.  No Face Ripping

In the original, I think my favorite moment is when Tina tries to defend herself against Krueger and rips his face off, revealing a laughing skeleton.

I’m more than happy to go against the grain on this one. I’ve enjoyed the majority of the Platinum Dunes remakes and this one was no exception – in fact, it might be their best. Definitely ranks among their top two. If you’re in the mood for an effective jump-scare type movie with one hell of an asshole tearing it up in the final act, I recommend you check this out. Meanwhile, sleep tight.

What did you think of the new Nightmare on Elm Street?


ARTICLE TAGS
Like this article? Join thousands of your fellow movie lovers who subscribe to The Weekly Edition from Film School Rejects. Our best articles, every week, right in your inbox!
  %
%  
Comment Policy: No hate speech allowed. If you must argue, please debate intelligently. Comments containing selected keywords or outbound links will be put into moderation to help prevent spam. Film School Rejects reserves the right to delete comments and ban anyone who doesn't follow the rules. We also reserve the right to modify any curse words in your comments and make you look like an idiot. Thank You!
Some movie websites serve the consumer. Some serve the industry. At Film School Rejects, we serve at the pleasure of the connoisseur. We provide the best reviews, interviews and features to millions of dedicated movie fans who know what they love and love what they know. Because we, like you, simply love the art of the moving picture.
Comic-Con 2014
Summer Box Office Prediction Challenge
Got a Tip? Send it here:
editors@filmschoolrejects.com
Publisher:
Neil Miller
Managing Editor:
Scott Beggs
Associate Editors:
Rob Hunter
Kate Erbland
Christopher Campbell
All Rights Reserved © 2006-2014 Reject Media, LLC | Privacy Policy | Design & Development by Face3