lesson-obsessed

In an effort to better understand the psyche of the beloved moviegoer, we analyze last week’s box office numbers. We found out nobody wants the good girl. America loves a good catfight.

Last weekend, America had the chance to watch Jamie Foxx and Robert Downey Jr. take a tag team approach to getting an Oscar in The Soloist. We could have even gone green by seeing Earth, where Disney promised to plant a tree for every ticket sold. Instead, and we should have known this was bound to happen, we wanted to watch a mild version of Fatal Attraction in Obsessed. We didn’t even get a remake of the whip cream bikini Ali Larter rocked in Varsity Blues. The film was ripped apart by critics, so what gives? Is Beyonce really that fierce? Let’s check out the stats and try to find out.

This is Beyonce’s (who I call Bizunchay for fun) 6th major film release. While she has had relative success, with 3 films grossing more than $80 million, we’re not quite ready to call her a leading lady yet. No real disrespect to Knowles, but she is at her best when she is belting out a tune and not belting women in the mouth. Still, this was her best opening since Austin Powers in Goldmember, her first big screen role.

Ali Larter isn’t being confused for Kate Winslet by anyone either. In fact, she wasn’t even listed in the index for Box Office Mojo. Ouch. Someone needs to do something about that. Hasn’t she been in enough movies?

The film echoes the likes of The Hand That Rocks the Cradle and Fatal Attraction, two films that did really well. Hmm, all three psychos were blondes. Maybe there’s something to be said for that.

So we have a cast of relatively unproven big screen actors, though Beyonce is a household name, and it scores $28 million in the opening weekend. Maybe we should turn to TV to understand how this happens. The Hills, starring Heidi Montag and Lauren Conrad, is one of the most dull shows on television today, yet it continues to draw viewers. Why? People love drama… and watching rich snobs make pensive faces as well, I guess. But we only need to look back at The Jerry Springer Show and know that America loves to watch a train wreck. We don’t really care about substance sometimes, so long as we get to see two hot girls claw each others’ eyes out. And what guy doesn’t want two women fighting over him?

The success of Obsessed comes from three truths: 1) It gives a chance for women to see a character like them assert their loyalty to their lover, while letting out the inner panther that society asks them to keep caged. 2) Most men think Beyonce and Ali Larter are hot as the Texas weather and are suckers for watching girls fight or have sex. Watch a frat boy nearly cream himself when you mention lesbians and tell me I am wrong. Of course, they don’t consider the fact that most lesbians look like Ellen Degeneres, who I am not saying is hideous, and not Jenna Jameson and Jenna Haze. But that’s neither here nor there. Back on track? Great. 3) We love drama, and Obsessed gives us the chance to shake political correctness for a couple of hours. The film could have been called Bitch, That’s My Man! and it would have made just as much money, maybe even more.

The majority of us have had to deal with a crazy ex or dated someone who had one, but the law and our reasoning say we can’t do anything but grin and bear it. Movies allow us the chance to change that notion. If a dude goes psycho on your daughter, you can push him to his death a la Mark Wahlberg in Fear. Is a girl stalking you on Facebook or boiling your bunnies? No problem. Drown her and shoot her between the eyes like Michael Douglas did in Fatal Attraction. Hell, the psycho may even win an Oscar for it. Obsessed succeeds, well at least financially, because it hits close to home while taking us out of the burdening restraints of reality when we deal with psychos at home. We say that we hate psychos. We’re lying. It’s time to admit that we love crazy, especially when it’s crazy beautiful.


ARTICLE TAGS
Like this article? Join thousands of your fellow movie lovers who subscribe to The Weekly Edition from Film School Rejects. Our best articles, every week, right in your inbox!
  %
%  
Comment Policy: No hate speech allowed. If you must argue, please debate intelligently. Comments containing selected keywords or outbound links will be put into moderation to help prevent spam. Film School Rejects reserves the right to delete comments and ban anyone who doesn't follow the rules. We also reserve the right to modify any curse words in your comments and make you look like an idiot. Thank You!
Some movie websites serve the consumer. Some serve the industry. At Film School Rejects, we serve at the pleasure of the connoisseur. We provide the best reviews, interviews and features to millions of dedicated movie fans who know what they love and love what they know. Because we, like you, simply love the art of the moving picture.
Comic-Con 2014
Summer Box Office Prediction Challenge
Got a Tip? Send it here:
editors@filmschoolrejects.com
Publisher:
Neil Miller
Managing Editor:
Scott Beggs
Associate Editors:
Rob Hunter
Kate Erbland
Christopher Campbell
All Rights Reserved © 2006-2014 Reject Media, LLC | Privacy Policy | Design & Development by Face3