4. Cameron Drake Outs His English Teacher in In & Out

This film is adorable. You can’t go wrong when Yoda is directing. You think Frank Oz goes into Yoda when an actor is being difficult on set? I would; no one can say no to Yoda, or Fozzie Bear or Miss Piggy for that matter.

Matt Dillon is one of those actors who plays blissfully ignorant really, really well. Also, it’s never boring to watch actors making fun of actors, in this case Dillon playing the oblivious artist shaking a finger at award ceremonies while simultaneously attending one. Never does the thought that outing someone as gay in front of half of the world would be crossing some kind of line cross his mind.

It’s that disconnect stereotype that you see with the wealthy and caring, like a pretty young actress taking publicity shots “helping” at the site of a hurricane-torn house without realizing that the owners might not want all their life shit on the cover of People Magazine. It’s not necessarily a fair picture to paint, but it’s funny as hell.


3. Derek  Gives a Thank You Speech After Losing in Zoolander

Speaking of oblivious, this was one of many adorably stupid moments from this film – which hopefully will be made into a sequel not too far from now. Forget Star Wars or Indiana Jones, it’s the comedies we should be make butt tons of sequels for – what’s the worst thing that could happen? No one has ever said, “Police Academy 5 completely ruins the continuity of the series!”

Hell let’s do Zoolander like the Jason movies, we can have Zoolander: The Final Chapter and Zoolander Goes To Hell. Perhaps an Austin Powers vs. Zoolander before then finally rebooting the entire franchise from the start. Screw it.


2. Charlie Accepts His Lifetime Achievement Award in Chaplin

If you’re playing Charlie Chaplin (and nailing it) before you’re 30, it can’t really go anywhere but up from there. I mean… unless you get really into cocaine and booze and stuff. Fortunately, we got a happy ending from it all – and while I wasn’t happy with the idea of remaking The Singing Detective, I’m glad it happened. Without it – and oddly enough, without Mel Gibson – we surely wouldn’t have the Iron Man we hold dear today.

I went ahead and included the actual awards show footage because while the scene in the film is powerful as hell, it can’t really compare to watching the real Charlie Chaplin on stage and fooling around with his hat and cane one last time. It’s surreal to think that it was the first time he came back to the states in 20 years, however understandable because we’re the jerks who kicked him out.


1. Lieutenant Frank Drebin Takes On the Academy in The Naked Gun 33 1/3

Poor Phil Donahue. One exception to my previous “they should make 1000 comedy sequels” statement would be films like these, where unfortunately the true source of the funny has been lost indefinitely. I use the word “indefinitely” because I have not yet ruled out resurrection until I test my machine. It’s a long shot, but that’s why you test it with cats first.

I love the Naked Gun formula of ending each one at a big event, continually and ridiculously hindered by Drebin in the form of some kind of alias. Watching poor tied up Enrico Pallazzo cringe at the sight of Leslie Nielsen slaughtering “The Star-Spangled Banner” under his good name – that shit just gets me. So seeing James Earl Jones and Olympia Dukakis passively watch “Phil Donahue” throw up in a tuba is simply heaven.

It’s weird that, thanks to these films, O.J. Simpson really only has two public personas at this point: lovable movie sidekick and wife murderer. I guess he also played sports or something…

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