7 Completely True Chuck Norris Facts; A Happy Birthday Special

It wasn’t so long ago that the internet was on fire with Chuck Norris facts.  The cancer curative power of his never seen tears, his ability to move the world during a push-up, his lethal silent ninja killing abilities.  At the time you may have asked yourself “Why Chuck Norris?”  Couldn’t these same jokes be made about Schwarzenegger, Van Damme, or Lundgren?  The short answer is “No.”  The long answer is “No.  Chuck Norris is a real life bad ass, making some of these punchlines plausible.”  Don’t believe me?  Just wait.

Today, March 10th, 2010, marks the 70th birthday of our man Chuck Norris, so first and foremost we want to say “Happy Birthday, Mr. Norris.”  Always treat him with respect.   Second, we want to tell you why this man is a badass of the highest level.  Shall we?

  1. Chuck Norris is part Cherokee Indian.  You know, perhaps the most famed and respected group of native Warriors America ever saw?  Some people pretend to have Cherokee blood, but Norris has it pumping through his veins for real.
  2. Norris won the Professional Middleweight Karate tournament in 1968. And 1969. And 1970. And 1971. And 1972. And 1973.  In 1969 he was also awarded Black Belt Magazine’s Fighter of the Year and Karate’s  Triple Crown Award for most wins.  He also holds the Golden Karate Lifetime Achievement Award.
  3. Chuck Norris has a lifetime karate record of 183 wins, 10 losses, and 2 draws.
  4. Bruce Lee met Chuck Norris at a Karate expo, which lead to Norris appearing on screen to fight Bruce Lee in Return of the Dragon.
  5. Chuck’s brother Weiland was killed in Vietnam in 1970, after which Norris dedicated the film Missing in Action to his memory. Norris would go on to make several films and sequels about a soldier going back to rescue his brothers in arms.
  6. The Fictional Norris’s weapon of choice is often thought of as the Uzi – he wields it in Delta Force 2 and famously brandishes two in Invasion USA. Unlike other action stars who have come out against gun ownership despite prominently featuring them in films (Mark Wahlberg, Sylvester Stallone), Chuck Norris is an NRA member and supports the 2nd Amendment as an individual right – alongside fellow mustachioed actor, Tom Selleck.
  7. Chuck Norris hasn’t lost a fight since 1968.

Unlike his contemporaries, Norris was a warrior who started acting, not an actor who started fighting.  A real life dangerous man, his films provided us with plenty of ass-kicking action on screen.  At age 70, not only could he kick your ass, but he’s probably a lot cooler than you too.  Just in case you’re not convinced, here are a few select bonus facts.

  • Wrote a letter to President Barrack Obama  asking him to lead from the Center and use the Constitution as his guide.
  • Is a syndicated columnist.
  • One of very few foreigners to receive an 8th Degree Black Belt in Tae Kwon Do.
  • Founded the World Combat League, a team based combat league.
  • Has written at least four books.
  • Has a brown belt in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.
  • Created a martial art style named Chun Kuk Do.
  • Promoted Chuck Norris Action Jeans, jeans that won’t bind and allow you to get a full range of motion for face-kicking.

Chuck Norris is an awesome badass.  Happy Birthday.  Case Closed.

What’s your favorite Chuck Norris role or fact?

Robert Fure is many things: horror expert, ruggedly handsome man of the world, witty prose composer, and writer of his own biography page. Beneath the bravado is a scared little boy, ready to grow into an awesome man and make lies about a scared little boy inside of him. Wait a minute...

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