5 Best Directors For ‘Halo’ That Won’t Get the Job But Should

So the news cycle has already moved on to chirping about The Hobbit (making it feel like January again) and about Steven Spielberg making a robot movie (making it feel like 2005 and 2001 again), but that won’t stop us from going all the way back to last week and continuing the conversation about Halo.

With renewed efforts being made to bring it to the screen, the question continues to be who the best director would be for the job. We don’t know the answer to that, but we do know who would make the most interesting version of Master Chief blasting the slaughter dew right out of some alien hordes.

That’s why we gathered together the bold (sometimes twisted) minds of the Rejects to answer the call and deliver a list of a few directors who would look outside the box to turn something incredibly commercial into something either brilliant or completely inaccessible. Without further ado, here’s the list:

Sylvester Stallone

The Pitch: It’s really quite simple. Does Halo have guns? Is Halo a “Mature” rated video game? Is there the equivalent of military personnel? Well, then who better to helm what should be a considerably violent picture than the man who would arm his actors with tank cannons that produce Tom Savini-esque destructive results?

Truth be told this pick is based on my experience with the multi-player aspect of the first game, as that is the extent of my exposure with the Halo series. I never played through the single player mode and therefore cannot justify Sly’s selection on any kind of storytelling match. What I do know is that the game has blood, brutes and bullets, and no active director does the combination of the three with as much gratuitous enthusiasm as Stallone. Any writing issues you may have with Rambo or The Expendables are irrelevant as the Halo script has already been written by someone else. Sly would just need to come in and do what he does best, which is to paint the town red. – Adam Charles

Matt Reeves

The Pitch: Obviously, Neill Blomkamp would have been a great choice to direct Halo but since we almost certainly can’t have him let’s think about what he brought to the table. District 9 won all of us over with its likeable main character, awesome sci-fi action and kinetic handheld style that felt fresh. So who else might be able to offer that? Answer: Matt Reeves, director of Cloverfield and Let Me In.

With his breakout film Cloverfield, Reeves provided us with a similarly energetic handheld perspective but in a Godzilla-esque space(?) monster attack on New York City. This style could be great for some of the close quarters action necessary for Halo perhaps during the close quarter firefights when the Pillar of Autumn is overrun by the Covenant?

With his follow up, Let Me In, Reeves proved to be more than a one trick pony by employing a more traditional visual style and doing the best possible job on the somewhat unnecessary remake of Let The Right One In. Reeves managed to put his own stamp on the newly classic vampire tale by expanding on what Let The Right One did while also paying homage to it. That’s a skill that could also be applied to the epic cinematic aspects of Halo. In fact, Reeves’ brooding landscape shots of wintertime New Mexico could fit right into the latest Halo game Halo: Reach. – Jorge Del Pinal

Sofia Coppola

The Pitch: You know what Halo needs? Master Chief getting in touch with his feminine side. The soothing, electronic sounds of Air billowing out of the speakers in the warthog. The underlying themes of female adolescents as 343 Guilty Spark tries to fit its CPU into a gas oven. All this and more can be your just so long as Sofia Coppola is at the helm here.

In all seriousness, though, Coppola, with only four feature films under her belt (including the upcoming Somewhere) has never confined herself or the settings of the stories she tells to a generic time or place. Each film, each story, is connected to its setting in some way, whether it’s the drabness of Michigan in the mid ’70s with The Virgin Suicides, the hyper reality found in modern day Tokyo with Lost in Translation, or the revolution-necessary monarchy of 18th century France with Marie Antoinette. Each of the stories are tied to their setting, but they are also capable of floating outside any confines those settings might hold. What Coppola could do with a war-torn, halo-shaped world would be astonishing. At the very least, it would have an amazing soundtrack. I particularly look forward to the penultimate scene of the film where Master Chief whispers something inaudible into Cortana’s memory banks. Now, that’s love! – Jeremy Kirk

Martin Campbell

The Pitch: A year ago if someone threw out Martin Campbell’s name for the Halo movie, they’d probably be greeted with googly eyes and questions of “why?” That would have been slightly unfair, though understandable. After all, Campbell’s career doesn’t have a massive ground battle or Sci-Fi element. But what Martin Campbell’s career does have is the ability to take an existing property out of the garbage and make it great.

With Goldeneye and Casino Royale Campbell proved he can handle a big budget and make exciting movies – they’re some of the best Bond films there are. Today, of course, he’s working on The Green Lantern so we’ll soon see if he can handle the fantasy and Sci-Fi elements needed for Halo, but Campbell strikes me as a strong working director, like a good relief pitcher. If you take a difficult property and put it in his hands, he’s going to come through.

I think of Campbell as a safe choice for Halo, someone who would make something faithful to the books with a polished look that wasn’t obsessed with style. – Robert Fure

Terrence Malick

The Pitch: A Terrence Malick-helmed Halo could quite possibly be one of the greatest films ever made, similar to his other films. If you want a real epic, Malick is the man to head to. Who wouldn’t want to see Master Chief blasting aliens while slowly and poetically narrating the battles and how his humanity is dying? But Master Chief wouldn’t be the central character; it would follow a handful of soldiers ideally played by Sean Penn, Nick Nolte, and Woody Harrelson. They’d all be soldiers under his command and would all talk in the same poetic manner, expect no James Cameron machismo-fueled one-liners. When a solider kills an alien, they wont shout “Get some!” but instead deliver five minute monologues on the life they just took.

This Halo would also be a love story, of course. Master Chief would end up falling for a fifteen-year-old alien he finds in the Badlands of a planet they raided. Forces will try to keep them apart, but Chief runs off with her for a cross planet road trip full of murder and more poetry. Instead of cross species lovemaking, they’ll stare at each other endlessly; these gazes and staring off would make up one-third of the running time. There will be no battles of combat, but battles of humanity. Master Chief will have no suit, but instead raggedy clothes will be his armor representing his inner turmoil. This four-hour epic would be distributed by IFC and be hailed as a classic twenty years later. This is the Halo film you all really want to see. – Jack Giroux

Who do you think would be best for the project?

The FSR Staff is an author similar to Hydra. Its articles have many authors. It has many heads. Please don't cut off any of its heads, we're trying to work here.

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