31 Days of Horror: My Bloody Valentine 3D

When the calendar page turns to October, we Rejects have only one thought: horror. To celebrate this grandest and darkest of months, we’ll cover one excellent horror film a day for the entirety of the month. That’s 31 Days of Horror and 31 Films perfect for viewing on a dark, chilly, October night. If you, like us, love horror and Halloween, give us a Hell Yeah and keep coming every day this month for a new dose of adrenaline.

Synopsis: Local Tom Harringer returns to his hometown after a long absence following an accidental mine collapse he caused, that set of a chain of events that lead to his father brutally murdering 22 people. Now, on the anniversary of the massacre, a man dressed as a miner is terrorizing the town, Tom, and everyone he holds dear.

Killer Scene: The Miner does his best to ruin a lot of people’s days and does a good job of it. There are a few moments where his kills are cheer worthy – though some might also cheer at the fully nude 3D sex scene. My bid for the best moment comes shortly after that (and a pair of kills) when the diminutive motel keeper comes to investigate some strange noises and ends up catching a pick-axe to the chin which drives her into a ceiling light which then electrocutes her as well.

Kill Sheet

Violence: This is a bloody one. There are at least a dozen on screen kills and a ton more off-screen that we see the end results of – some grizzly, realistic looking Valentine’s Day decorations, like hearts in boxes and organs on the wall. The pick-axe does a lot of the work, but there are brutal beatings, removed body parts, and all sorts of viscera splashing around.

Sex: Fully. Nude. 3D. Sex. Scene. Featuring screenwriter Todd Farmer. I’m not sure if that’s a positive or negative for you. Let’s be honest, it’s positive. That is the only instance of nudity in the film, but the woman does run around fully nude for a solid minute and a half. Ladies will probably also enjoy that the film stars Supernatural stud Jensen Ackles.

Scares: The film does a good job of mixing straight up slasher gore with creepy moments, good sound, and a small smattering of jump scares. It won’t haunt your nightmares, but it might just make the person next to you scoot a bit closer. So don’t watch it with Rob Hunter.

Final Thoughts: I totally enjoyed My Bloody Valentine 3D, even when it’s viewed in 2D at home. But you can still watch it in 3D at home with the glasses, so go your own way. It’s definitely a member of the retro-80s vibe, which is right where I like to stay 9 times out of 10, so I had a blast with the film in theaters, from every eye popping to every pick-axe thrown at the screen. If you like your horror full of blood and body bits, you’ll enjoy this as it’s definitely one of the better horror remakes of the last decade. Hell, it’s one of the better horror films of the last decade.

Robert Fure is many things: horror expert, ruggedly handsome man of the world, witty prose composer, and writer of his own biography page. Beneath the bravado is a scared little boy, ready to grow into an awesome man and make lies about a scared little boy inside of him. Wait a minute...

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